Doctor's Orders

The Appointment From Hell

I didn't have anything to use to secure the puppy, and I still had no clue how I was going to safely get him to our appointment. I grabbed an old blanket and the puppy and left my apartment for the second time that day, which was truly two too many. I decided the passenger seat would be preferable to the back seat so I could at least watch him. I made a small bed for him with the blanket and sent up a prayer that he'd just sleep through the car ride. He seemed to sit still as I pulled out of the lot, but as soon as I was on the ride, he was up and running again, getting into everything.

"Hey!" I yelled as he knocked my water bottle out of the cup holder, sending it crashing onto the floor and spilling water all over my pants. He flinched away from my shout and instead walked back over to his window. He stood on the sill and I cracked the window an inch for him to stick his little nose out. Hopefully, that would distract him some.

I pulled into Head to Tail five minutes later and parked the car. There was a surprising amount of people still there. People would definitely see something in this little guy. Surely he will find a home. I personally had never dealt with shelters growing up and we had always bought our dogs from private breeders, so the "shelter life" wasn't something I had ever experienced. I looked at the puppy who stared back at me, his little nub tail wagging with the rest of him. I threw my face into my hands as a flood of tightness washed over me. Not only did I have to talk to people, but I had to do so with my wet pants, hair still down because somehow I forgot my hair-tie at home, and with this cute little puppy that I wanted to put into the shelter. What if they hated me for it? Don't they hate it when people give them puppies?

"Hi!" I was greeted warmly by an unfamiliar face and I cringed inside. I had barely walked in the doors.

I looked around me in an effort to analyze my situation. There was a hall to my left and a door towards the back of the store labeled "Cats". Behind me was the door I came in and to my right I knew was an outdoor play area because I saw it on the way in. I heard dogs barking and chatter. Lots of chatter. I was suddenly very aware of my still-soaked pants and the wriggling puppy in my hands. I looked up and realized I had been quiet for too long.

"I spoke to Chelsea on the phone," I managed to squeak out, my voice higher than it ordinarily would be.

"Yes! I'm Chelsea. If you want I can take your little guy from you?" She put out her hands and I handed her the puppy. The blanket went with him and while I wanted to keep the it, that would mean asking for it back. I ignored it. The puppy whined and attempted to squirm out of her grasp and back to me. I shot him a firm glance that said 'cut it out' and continued to look around me.

She began walking and I paused, not knowing if I should follow. While I hoped she'd say I was finished and could leave she instead turned around to face me, gesturing for me to continue behind her. I felt my hands shake as I took one step and then another. I was very conscious of the eyes on me as I followed and I swore I could hear their thoughts in my head.

"Weirdo" one thought, rolling their eyes at me as I walked.

"Freak" another pondered taking in my disheveled appearance.

My thoughts seemed so loud and when I looked up at the puppy again, I saw Chelsea staring at me. I realized I'd been spoken to and completely missed it. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

She smiled sweetly at me, though it looked sad. "He is unfortunately not chipped, meaning we have no way of identifying an owner. What we do from here is if you agree to your name on file we can advertise him for 48 hours as missing and if no one claims him, he's yours!"

"Oh no," I shook my head "I can't keep a puppy in my apartment. That's why I brought him here" I could hear a quiver in my voice and it was at this point I began to feel panic rise in my throat. I wouldn't be able to stay much longer.

"Actually, because of their small size, spaniels make great apartment dogs. They aren't super vocal and are very intelligent. What I can do for now is put you down on a call list. You can think about it for a couple of days and you can give us a decision when we call you then!" She reasoned, petting the puppy as she did, his big grey eyes looking up at me with confusion. He cocked his head to one side the same way he'd done in my kitchen earlier and I wanted to smile at him.

I looked up at the girl and she looked hopeful, so I nodded, agreeing to take a few days. Maybe after then she'd leave it be.

"Excellent! I still have your phone number written down in the catalog book. I'll be in contact!" She smiled, so cheerful.

"Okay," I tried to respond with confidence, though it came out sounding weak and tired. I turned around and booked it out the door, feeing nothing but eyes on me. When I stepped outside the shelter, I had hoped that the fresh air would ease the panic closing my throat. I attempted deep breathing but when I realized my attempts were proving to be futile, I walked to my car. I unlocked the doors and got back in, feeling the hysteria continue to rise. I needed to be home. I couldn't be here anymore.

Looking up to put the keys in the ignition, my vision was blurry. I couldn't pin point when the tears began to escape but I started the car, cranking the air conditioning which only made me shiver in my wet clothes. I turned it off and allowed my body to be completely overrun with the still-rising anxiety.

The next thing I knew, I was looking up. 20 minutes had passed and there was far fewer cars in the lot. My cheeks grew hot with embarrassment, wondering if anyone had seen me. I decided to not ponder it and pulled out of the lot, making good time on the short drive home.

Walking back into my apartment for the second time that day, I dropped my keys on the table and slipped off my shoes. I took in the Tupperware on the floor and shook my head. Another day. I would deal with it another day.

I turned to walk down the hall to my room, slipping off my wet pants as I went. When I entered my room, I looked around. I should shower and change clothes but I allowed myself to collapse on the bed instead, completely spent. I was asleep before my eyes hit the pillow.