Simply Everlark (After Mockingjay)

Chapter 7

Wind whipping around the house's structure from the outside is present, in fact, the only thing present through this silence.

Our hands are still entwined, and my eyes are locked on the mass of twisted fingers, not wanting to see Peeta's expression. It was a long shot, really. My mouth spoke faster than my mind could comprehend. Such a small amount of words could have such an impact, and what I feared from saying them was coming true. This silence is eating me away.

A sudden touch came up unexpectedly as one of Peeta's hands unraveled themselves from mine and was placed under my chin. He slightly pushes upward, causing myself to make eye contact with the man sitting in front of me. His hand drops very slowly, leaving me with a lack of touch but his gaze studies all of my features.

I watch him closely also, taking in all of his small features I may have missed from a far sight. His lips are cracked and have a brighter pink tint to them then I remember. His skin looks surprisingly soft and smooth to the touch. Taking that into consideration, I also notice that his skin looks slightly tanner in color, almost in the same range of the tips of his hair that falls just below his eyebrows.

His eyes watch me, now rather intensely and suddenly I become self conscious of my appearance. He was moving his eyes, back and forth for a couple of seconds before drawing his eyebrows together and gently stroking the side of my temple.

"This is new." he speaks softly, but avoiding a whisper while gently tracing the scar that is present.

"Yeah," I clear my throat and Peeta removes his hand, "I was in the woods about a month ago and fell. I only needed a few stitches, so it wasn't too bad of a cut."

His eyes fell and were taken off of me. He looked pained almost, but what for?

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you." he mumbles answering my question very quietly that I almost hadn't heard it.

"Peeta, this isn't your fault." I plead as he takes away his hands from mine.

He looks up and all I that I can see is a broken boy. Tears are brimming in his eyes as his eyebrows droop. I want to comfort him, to tell him that everything is okay and that I am okay. But my thoughts never play out into actions as I continue to sit there and take my eyes off of him, fearing that I will crack from heartbreak.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't here when you really needed me." He starts once more. "I should of just gone back home when you and Haymitch did. But I was being selfish, thinking how it would be good to stay, not realizing what you had to go through. And Katniss," he stops to grab my hand, placing a soft kiss on the top before resting his forehead on it, "For that, I am truly sorry."

I look at him again as his head rests on my hand being at his weakest point. I want to cry, partially for the fact that Peeta is blaming my lack of care on him, and also seeing him so upset is truly making my heart shatter into a million pieces. The strongest boy that I had ever met is now crumbling in front of me, clutching onto my hand as tears are tricking off of the tip of his nose.

My hand slips out of Peeta's grasp as I wobble my chair closer to him, so close that out knees are touching. His eyes are still glued to the floor, even with the absence if my hand on his head. With a swift movement, I duck my hand so that I can reach his frail face.

I'm trying to wipe away his tears with the last bit of courage I can release. As the moisture on Peeta's cheeks gathers on my finger tips, I notice him stiffen. With the sudden gesture, remove my hands away, afraid that I had triggered some kind of flashback.

He looks up, startled almost. A slight red in his eyes is present as he meets mine. "Are you afraid of me?" He says from what I think is referring to my sudden flinch.

"No, Peeta." I say rather drawn back from the question. "Nothing that the Capitol has done to you can change the fact that you are still the same person you were before any of this happened."

He takes a deep breath while using his shaky hands to wipe the tears left over on his face. "I want to tell you my story."

"Okay." I say before his hands find their way back into mine, resting on the tops of our knees.

"Well, I guess I will start with the day you and Haymitch left." He smiles at me a bit trying to ease the tension. "The moment you two said goodbye, I immediately regretted staying. I thought that you and I were getting closer and with such a long time without seeing each other, I knew that things would change."

"Life wasn't full of glory in the Capitol. I mean, sure it was okay with the war ended and everyone trying to fix up the damage. I would go in everyday to see a nurse who would do anything to get my memory back. She tried pills, injections, but I almost felt as if the more I talked, the more memory that I would gain. So that's what I did. I spent a year talking everyday about you, Katniss."

I looked closely at him, taking in every word that flowed out of his mouth. It was captivating learning about his treatment of talking, but what really made me listen is what he was talking about.

I was happy, so happy that a feeling arose in the pit of my stomach. The fact that Peeta was talking about me every day made me smile. But were they bad thoughts? I had no idea what he could have been talking about to the nurse.

"The longer that I was away from you and the more that I talked about you made me miss you even more." he whispers snapping me back into reality.

"I would count down the weeks until my return, and the closer it came, the more I realized how much I wanted to be here with you, just like this."

His eyes were locked on mine now, the blue more prominent than ever. A light heat arose on my face hearing the words spill out but was taken away when I realized how much we craved each others compony. I didn't know what to say hearing everything just a moment ago. I sat emotionless, my mouth slightly open in shock.

With my mouth unable to produce any sort of communication, I decide to do the next best thing. My hands are taken out of Peeta's grip and I desperately fling them across his torso, hugging for a third time today. But this one was different. It wasn't so much filled with the feeling of missing Peeta, but a whole new one.

My head is buried into his chest with his two arms hugging my body tightly. I breath in the familiar sent of his shirt, closing my eyes before Peeta decides to speak.

"I did regain one vital piece of memory while at the Capitol." he says into my neck.

"What is it?" My voice speaks slightly muffled.

"I still love you."