Pieces of Me

20. Eight Days

Lena's POV

I wake up to about the 8th day in a row without Stef. I feel the cold side of the bed and sigh. I've been sleeping with her pillow as a reminder of her. Everytime we sit together for a meal Stef's seat is open. Today is finally Saturday and I decide to sleep in for a while knowing I don't have to see Monte's face or any other student or staff, all I wanna see is Stef. I miss her despite how many times we have argued or how many times we were distant. I also miss her affection. She was tough on the outside but a major softy on the inside. I hear the kids getting up so I go downstairs to fix breakfast and maybe explain to the kids where Stef is.

I finish up breakfast and we are all siting down at the table, usually Stef would crack a joke to lighten the mood but her seat has been empty for 8 days.

"Mama?" Jude asks.

"Yes baby?"

"Is mom ever gonna come pack?"

"Yea where even is she, she's been gone for 8 days." Brandon says.

"Before I say this just know I love her and things will be ok soon."

"Please tell me you guys aren't getting divorced." Mariana says.

"Not really." I say and by the look on all of their faces they suddenly seemed concerned.

"This night was kinda a blur, the teachers and I got extremely drunk and I wasn't even thinking, Me and Ms.Porter kissed. Well she kissed me and I pulled away and within seconds that's when the ship crashed. I told Stef and as you can see she didn't take it well. She hasn't answered any of my texts or calls."

The kids all pause for a second to take everything in. "I'm a mess, I really messed up this time, I'm so sorry, this is all my fault." I say.

"Yea you should be." Brandon says bitterly.

"Brandon don't." Callie says trying to hold him back.

"No I am, it's all her fault that I can't see MY OWN MOTHER! She was too drunk to realize that she had a wife and kids to think after so she just let Monte put her tongue down her throat. You know what, she is TURNING INTO MIKE! All she is doing is hurting my mom and it's NOT OK!" Brandon says before storming off upstairs.

"He didn't mean any of it." Jesus says.

"It's fine, it's my fault she's not here and I might be turning into Mike. It's not gonna be long until another one of you guys turns your back against me."

The all sit there speechless. Brandon's words really stuck to me. I am the reason this family is falling apart.

It's only 2:40 and I feel like this day has been going on for forever. I decide to sit outside by the garden and clear my mind. I look out at Frankie's tree. It has perfectly bloomed. When I lost Frankie it felt like half of my heart had died. Frankie would have been the first child in the Adams Foster family to have DNA from both moms. I felt so selfish picking myself over her. Now that Stef isn't here it feels like my entire world is off balance.

The sun starts to set and I look at my watch 8:36. I didn't notice anyone behind me until Brandon sits next to me.

"I didn't mean what I said this morning."

"It was true, this is all my fault."

"But your not like Mike, besides you said Monte kissed you anyways. It was kinda obvious she liked you."

"She did, I'm truly sorry Brandon."

He pulls me into a hug. The kids see us and the all join the hug.

"We love you mama." Jude says. The all agree and for once in the past week I actually felt happy.