51 Reasons not to Say Goodbye

3: The Rancous Sound of Denial

It was quiet at first.

While I was recovering, people would come in to talk to me, as I would expect them to, and as I would do for them. However, they didn't seem to answer my questions. They seemed both sad and angry at me, and I couldn't figure out why.

For example, my best friend. Clarence had always been somewhat sad, for reasons that were a bit foggy to me. And after the incident with his brother, we became more like siblings. I even remembered us promising not to lie to each other, so there was absolutely no reason for him to be distant like everyone else.

"I've missed you, buddy." I said when he first walked in. My blonde hair spread itself out around my head, like a golden cloud in the white sky more commonly referred to as a pillow. Okay, maybe my hair wasn't as much a cloud as it was a knotted mess of sticky cotton candy, but I'm going for development here, so let me just say a little about myself while Clarence was staring off into the distance.

I have green eyes. Blonde hair, obviously. At the age of fifteen, I still had two baby teeth to lose, and although we worked out seemingly everyday, my abs were not as rock-solid as one could hope for. I was the usual height. I don't really know how to explain much else.

Preferences? The only drink we really ever drank is well water. Like out of a well. Um, I liked my bow more than a gun. Tank tops over t-shirts, and I didn't (and still don't) like wearing pants at all. (Don't worry, I do wear them most of the time.) Fears? I was terrified of sharks and roaches. Best friend? Clarence, duh. And that brings us in a full circle. My best friend opened his mouth to speak.

"I miss you." Was the genius response.

"It's okay," I had answered. "I'll be up and about as soon as I can."

He nodded.

I smiled.

Looking back at it, the contrast in our facial expressions must have been stunning.

Clarence left after Evangeline (James's wife, who had been a nurse before the outbreak and assumed that role here) ushered him out, following him and leaving me with Lois. Lois had worked with Evangeline at the hospital, and brought her family to live with us a few days after I arrived.

Surprisingly, I didn't hurt. I must not have landed hard. Something must have happened that prevented me from broken bones. I looked at my arm, bruised a deep shade of purpleish brown, not even hurting me. At all.

"Can I get up now?" I asked.

Lois didn't move. She must have been out of earshot.

"CAN I GET UP?" I demanded.

Still no response. At 76, her hearing had deteriorated a bit.

"I'M LEAVING NOW." I said.

So I got up and left.

Outside, the sun was setting, the grass was growing, and everyone was starting to head inside. Since the electricity had no connection, (probably due to the fact that no one was there to man the power-plants, making them go into lockdown mode) we lived by the sun. In fact, we uninstalled most of the electrical appliances and now used flashlights or torches if we need to. We keep the windows open and it worked out fine.

Honestly, I wasn't tired at all. I had just spent who knows how long in a hospital bed, and I didn't even feel that bad. So instead of heading inside, I climbed up to the top of the extra storage shed.

Ryx and Kiran were on guard duty. They didn't acknowledge me, either. Even when I stood up, shouted "HEY GUYS, LOOK WHO'S ALL BETTER!" and waved.

This was making me mad. I was watching the moon, a beautiful, bright, full moon, when a bizarre thought fell into place.

What if...

I slid off the shed roof, landing in a crouch position. My heart was pounding like ten thousand fireflies had decided to enter it and shine like the moon.

Clarence. He would never ignore me.

I went to his room, breathing heavily.

There were three beds in that room, and four people to share them: two bunked twins and an uncomfortable looking queen. Clarence was on the bottom bunk, and when I went in, he twitched in his sleep.

"Clarence?" I whispered softly.

His eyes snapped open, and he rubbed them.

"Hey-" I start, then stop when his eyes scan the room, not meeting mine.

"Guys?" Clarence inquires.

Slowly, the three other boys- Lyle, Jake, and KJ (that's what we call Kenneth jr. when he's not in trouble) began waking up.

"Sorry, I just had to check so-" once again, I stopped talking.

The boys couldn't even see me.

I didn't think it was because of the dark.

And then the puzzle pieces snapped into place as the stunning sound of denial slammed into me like a club.

Jefferson crying. My fall from the roof. Clarence ignoring me. What is this place, anyways?

Yep. Congratulations, you little riddle solver.

I was dead.