Deal with it

30 of October

So. Where do I start with talking about today? Oh my God.
Well, at first it seemed okay, really good even. I got to wear a wig and not look weird because of the Halloween party. Oh boy did that mean something else.
Oh, I should really start at the beginning... and stop using colored pencils.

I woke up like always, I was really really happy about getting to dress up for the day. I mean, dad would've not approved at all but why would I have cared, I was about to have fun for the first time in a LONG time. And I mean long.
So, I got ready. I mean, i had everything, I felt like I looked like a girl and looking in the mirror, I approved of myself for the first time in such a long time! It was amazing.

Kyle and I went together, just because we thought it would be fun. He noticed, how much happier a was... not like I used to... actually happy.
It didn't take long for him to ask me if it felt better for me to be a girl. He was so kind about it! I told him everything. I don't know, if I should've but he's been there for me before.

Anyway. Everything was going so great! Maybe a little cold, but still really really well. I was loving it and thought that today might be one of the best of my life yet...
...until Kyle and I got over to the school. It was, to some degree, really scary for me. Kyle helped me out a little. Apparently I wasn't easy to recognize according to him. He said that he has there.

So it still seemed okay. Well, pretty okay. I don't know. It wasn't okay, it was still really awesome and I loved it.
Well. Of course Eric and a couple of others came to ruin the bliss of just finally being like I wanted to. I mean, I know it's an illusion. Tomorrow I'll have to go back and act like 'myself' again.

Bebe came to help me, which was so very kind of her. I was surprised, normally she stays out of it. Wendy came to help out as well, which was really really really cool of her. Kyle, of course, got into a HUGE fight about it, with Eric. Which Kyle won. It was really just something I didn't want to happen but I didn't have time to stop it. I guess Eric deserved it, I know he did but I feel really really bad. Bebe says I shouldn't and Wendy agrees with her. Kyle didn't even say that it was kind of me or that he understood why I felt bad, unlike the girls.

I can say that wasn't the worst part. But I'm getting ahead of myself... aren't I? So, just afterwards, Token complimented me and told me not to worry about Eric. He said he was sorry he didn't get a chance to defend me. He was being surprisingly nice. Not that he isn't normally. I did not think people would actually think to come up to me and say something suited me. It was kind of him and lifted my mood up a little.

Kenny was being really really really kind to me the whole day. He wasn't flirting with anyone else... that I saw. He told me something really kind in my opinion.

"If you feel like dressing like that, nobody has the right to tell you otherwise. Fuck them, you're beautiful whatever way." ~Kenny McCormick <3.

He was being overly dramatic but in my day, it was like he did a really big thing for me. Funny how that is.

Anyway. Next were the teachers. They did not approve, at all. They were saying terrible things to my face. I thought they would've been okay with it!

So, when I left the room, I ran into (figuratively. I didn't actually run into her. She asked me over.) anyway. I ran into this woman, she said her name was Kathrine. She had an accent, like, a very very British accent. She stayed to talk to me, it was really nice. She's apparently going to be here as the nurse. Whatever happened to the first one, I don't know.

She took me to her new office and I helped her set things up. Sure, I wasn't dancing with everyone but I got a toothbrush. Did they get a toothbrush? Of course not. As I can saying, I helped her around the office, put things in their places and things like that. She told me about her education and everything that came with it. I didn't know, how much work it was to get to be the school nurse.

She told me about a couple of things I didn't know that much about. Basically anatomy and things like that, it was surprising interesting, she has a kind voice. I dared to ask her about, well, being transgender. She was very kind in answering and a lot of those things she said were really really useful. I thanked her and got the toothbrush, when we had lunch.

I've never been as surprised. When I sat down, people joined me and started asking if I was alright and where I was. They're so much kinder than people at home.

We left school straight after and like usual, I was in a hurry home. Kenny caught up to me though (of course the fastest kid can catch up to me) and we walked to mine together, without really talking.

When I got home, dad was there and he did not like my look. After the obvious, I went to my room. I've seen here for five hours or so by now and I think I should probably sleep in case dad catches me writing this.

All and all, my day could've been worse but it could have been so so much better. I'll just wish that tomorrow is better.

Until Morning:
Margarine.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Sorry for the quality. It'll get better, I promise.

~Eko