Deal with it

10 of December

Dear diary, i've been busy with everything about the play. But today is important.

First of all, I'm asking Bebe out tomorrow. Yes, I gathered the courage, finally. Well, she's showing me 'hints' and I want to try it now. I mean. If it does not work, what have I really lost? I can still be friends with her. I don't think she minds, this has happened before with other people. So why not with me? It will be really really awkward but I might get a girlfriend, so, fuck it. We'll work over it if something doesn't happen between us!

Also. Apparently Kenny likes someone! Bebe came to me and told me that Kenny likes Marie! YES FINALLY PLEASE PLEASE DO IT! I NEED THIS TO HAPPEN!
So, we started 'Operation GTTFAM.' (Short for Get them to fuck and marry.) Bebe came up with the name for this operation by the way, I wanted to call it 'operation K x M' but apparently it was far too obvious. I don't know. K could be Kyle! It's not that obvious. But we went with Bebe's name because mine was too obvious.

Our operation has three different plans.
One: We will write a love letter and pretend it's from one of them. (I'm kind of against this. I mean, it's misleading...)
Two: We'll force them into a situation where they have to tell their feelings to each other. (We aren't sure on the situation yet but AJ, Kati and Echo are looking at us with a look. I think they might have an option.)
Three: Bebe said we could beg the Asian girls to ship them so they'd have to get together, like Creek. (It wouldn't work. I'm pretty sure. Kenny is use to shipping. He'll just walk past it with a look of 'Fuck you all, I'm not going to fall on your level.')

Personally, I would do the second (With AJ, Kati and I guess Echo.) because they seem to be pretty sure of a plan they have. Which will be absolutely amazing if it works. At this point, Kenny and Marie are my favorite couple and they aren't even together yet. Like, Creek, move the fuck aside. Manny(?) is coming for you! (It awkward to put together names Margarine and Kenny. I don't know, I think it's because of how long Margarine is. It's really really awkward to combine with any name to be honest.)

Also. I can never look at tea the same way after I figured out why Stan or Kyle say 'Want tea later?' I mean, IT BASICALLY MEANS SEX! Fucking hell! The fun fact is, one of them says says it at least ones a day. It's been like 4 times I've heard (mostly from Kyle.) 'No tea today.' WHICH MEANS THEY FUCK ALMOST EVERY DAY! HORNY FUCKERS! I mean, today Bebe looked at me and said, "Why do they want tea every-single-day?" (I'm pretty sure Bebe knows what tea means to them) I laughed and asked if she wanted tea. She asked if it was from me. I was like "I mean. Why else would I ask? Get fucking Kenny to make you tea?" And she rolled her eyes and said,

"Sure. I wouldn't mind tea."

I WOULDNT MIND TEA! I SPECIFIED THAT THE TEA-! OH MY FUCKING GOD I'M HAPPY RIGHT NOW! REALLY REALLY REALLY HAPPY.

She asked me if I'd mind having tea and I said, "I mean, I haven't had tea in a while." I'M DRINKING TEA (actual tea) WHILE WRITING THIS! OH MY FUCKING GOD! THIS IS AT THE SAME TIME REALLY GROSS AND REALLY TAISTY BECAUSE I LOVE GREEN TEA!

Yeah, I'm a bit too happy today. And then-and then- I went to meet up with both AJ and Kati. They both told me tomorrow would be a good day to ask Bebe out. Like, HELL YES I'M GOING TO ASK HER OUT! They've been able to tell little things about the future before! So now I'm extremely sure that I will ask her out (I bumped into Echo. They told me to take her out for tea. And said Bebe likes lemon tea before winking at me and finally leaving me alone.) I mean. We're going to go out for tea then. That's the plan at least.

Bebe is such a good angel (I'm talking about the play) by the way. She smiles at me and actually makes me amazed with her lovely voice. I swear, I keep falling in love with her more and more everyday, even every hour. She is so beautiful. I love her to the moon and back, no, Saturn and back! I don't care if it isn't possible, I do. Fuck the haters. She's imperfect but the imperfections are so beautiful and fit her perfectly. I wouldn't change anything about her (other than maybe her last name). She fits so well to be an angel. To be honest, she is one for me. She is very very perfect and if she wasn't here, I don't know where I would be.

She kept me up when mom died. Really. I think I wouldn't be alive anymore if she hadn't found out how badly I was hurting. I tried. I'm so blessed that it didn't work. I'm blessed because I got to get even closer to Bebe, the prettiest girl and the most amazing angel. I wouldn't mind having anything else leave me than Dad and Bebe, nobody else matters as much. And I feel so bad that I feel so strongly about her and am not really together with her. I shouldn't be so obsessed but I let myself do this, all the while being together with Stan... I don't even know anything anymore. I should apologize to Stan about loving Bebe far before we broke up... I really should.

I didn't know love could feel so good and so bad at the same time. But I adore this feeling.

Wends.