Chess Piece

To Be Alone Was to Be Free

Her decision would bring her sister to come see to her, sooner or later.

Now that she has at least had more trust on herself than she did before, she had requested to enjoy her afternoon tea in between her duties out in the royal gardens, with her ladies-in-waiting keeping distance as she had wished to have the moment for herself, and none should be allowed to come and disturb her for any royal matter until she had finished with her cup of tea.

Her younger sister was not a royal matter that she could avoid, unfortunately.

For the strawberry blonde haired Princess had come approaching her, though unlike when she had caught her about to have a carriage ride, this time her expression had already told the Queen of what she wanted to say, at the very least the base of the problem.

"The gates are closed." Anna's breath came in short huffed pants, making her wonder if the younger sister had been running all the way from the gates to see her, though she did had opted for quick paces when she had come into the gardens. "Why the gates are closed, Elsa?"

"I see no reason to keep them opened." The dignitaries and the other guests had been sent back to their respective kingdoms, as there was no more need for them to stay in Arendelle any longer than necessary, should they wish to discuss trades then she was able to be reach through letters before the final meeting that would require her to see them face to face. It was also her way of getting the weight and tension of risk of her power being discovered off her shoulders, as the less people there were in the castle the better. "Besides, it has been this way for us, is it not?"

"But what's stopping us from keeping them opened?" The Princess questioned, brows furrowing as she watched her sister took a sip of her tea, blue eyes still refusing to meet her turquoise ones and instead fixed onto the garden before them. "You're the Queen, you can do anything."

"Then I'm stopping us." Her head had turned then, to see the face of her sister who had nothing but confusion as her expression. Her tone has been as bitter as the beverage she had been drinking, flat and left no room for argument, because this discussion about opening the gates and letting people in, to risk a lot, has beginning to tire her.

"But why? I don't understand-"

"That's right, you don't." Anna never understood, she would never. Yes partly it has been her fault and their parents' for not telling her anything but claiming that it was 'for the best', but it was true. All they had done was for her own sake, for her own safety, for it was how it has to be. What was best for Anna was best for her.

The look of betrayal on her beloved sister's face hurt her heart nonetheless. She must have been so confused, being kept in the dark for so long, wondering on why everything had suddenly changed, why she suddenly found herself wandering the halls of the castle all by herself.

"I'm sorry, Anna." A simple request for forgiveness was not enough, she was no fool to be unaware of that, and she wasn't even sure what she was asking forgiveness for, as there were too many faults that she had done to her younger sister. "Please, excuse me." Her tea had only been half-drank, yet she knew she wasn't going to be able to finish it anyway, and she had stood and left then while Anna remained standing still with her head hung low.

To protect her, she had to hurt her sister's heart over and over again.

Her arms wrapped around herself as she took a shaky breath, the temperature around her must have dropped, for her power had started to build back up at her hands, right under the gloves she had been wearing, and she had to control herself before anyone had beginning to notice.

"Your Majesty-" one of her ladies had started, yet stopped at the shake of her head, prompting them to retreat back just as they were about to approach her.

Making her way up to her study, she had managed to close the door and locked it just as ice began to form at the corners of the room as she pressed her hands and forehead against the wooden door, breathing heavily as she tried to gather her emotions back in control, for it was the only way she could reduce the effect of her powers.

Yet the ice remained unbothered, even when she had tried her best, to focus on nothing but the cold, and she slammed her fist against the door in frustration before she turned to lean her back against it instead, body sliding down until she sat on the floor with her knees pulled close to her chest as her first sob broke out.

She couldn't laugh, she couldn't cry, she couldn't even dream nor live without her powers bursting out of her, she wasn't able to do anything; the control that she thought she had was nothing more than her foolish hope that maybe someday everything but be back to normal and that she wouldn't have to suffer anymore.

"Elsa?" There was no knock, nor that it was a female voice that had called for her, yet she kept her head on her folded arms, hiding her face from even the sunlight that came pouring through the frosted windows due to her own doing. "Please, let me in."

He must have heard of how the Queen had ran away from everyone after her conversation with her own sister, had heard how much of a terrified child she was, and she couldn't even bear the thought of how weak she must have looked in his eyes. "Leave me alone."

"Haven't I told you that I know how it felt to feel alone?" Yes, he had. Yet no matter how alone he had felt was nothing compared to what she had to go through. He might understand the loneliness, yes, but not the struggle or the pain of the constant lies she had to tell her sister. "All I wish is to help you. Please, do not shut me out."

She shut everyone out, what could possibly make him different than them?

The marriage had given her nothing but another life put at risk, a man that could have avoid all of this yet forced to, given the situation that both had to fulfill their duty as royalties, pawns pushed together to form a stronger alliance. She couldn't even begin to understand why father had chosen to marry her off, knowing what she was capable of doing, why he had told her that he was proud of her even when she was so out of control, why he had trusted the kingdom to her.

Someone like her should have just exiled herself, perhaps up to the mountains where she would not hurt anybody else, where perhaps she could let go and see just how much her powers truly capable of. Yet of course as Queen, she would have to remain in Arendelle, to serve it just like she had vowed to.