Expectations and Reality

Chapter 32 | SMILES

It's not whether you get knocked down. It's whether you get up.

Vince Lombardi

☆☆☆

Ommata nervously, traced the pattern of her floral gown with her fingers absent-minded. She tapped her leg, anxiously, against the wooden floor of her room.

She was suddenly jerk out of her trance as the door opens, revealing a grumpy Yaqub. "Do I have to escort you?" He questioned for the tenth time.

Since when Rafeeah informed her about her fiancé's visit, she became disturbed in such a way that Nabiha had to reassure her she isn't meeting a beast.

Stilled to Lina's idea, she made her Istikhara some days ago and the result was quite evident. She proposed the idea to Rafeeah and she analysed everything to her, giving her the parental blessings and assurance of good and blessed life.

Still, she isn't comfortable. Despite the matter that she has never see him before, that didn't disturbed her, at least her parents recommended his behaviour, deen and background, being him a son to a lost old friend of Abdullah.

But the reason still remains, she can't easily open up to men. Through out her life, the only opposite gender she lived closely to, easily open up to, accepted them no matter what were her father and Yaqub. But the moment Junaid came into her life, everything changed. He became one of them, not even in their rank but slightly above them. She trusted him more than her imagination. Even though sometimes she use to analyse and see thoroughly to her relationship with Junaid as slightly against the Islamic laws, she use to shrug with off with the idea of getting married to each other.

Marriage. That, now, contains an entirely different meaning in her dictionary of life. She once read it that every girls dream is getting married to the man she loves, not only that but Islamically, marriage is half of our religion. But to Ommata Abdullah, that's now an entirely different case. She can't compose herself to believe those words.

She was being broken and abandoned by the man she thought she found her happiness with, her Jannah under his feet and hoping to live together in eternal life but alas, she was mistaken. She chose a devilish garnet.

"Ommata" Yaqub groaned, sitting beside her on the bed "you easily zoom out to thoughts nowadays. What's wrong?"

"What did you just say?" She batted her lashes a few times whilst she trys to plaster a foreign smile on her face.

"No. You tell me what's wrong with you Ommata. You seem distressed and weary nowadays, and don't even try that part of 'that's because I'm growing older' because you always look younger than your age" he pouted and she laughed sincerely.

"I don't know why Yaqub but I easily freak out nowadays. I'm always nervous and disturbed with thoughts that are quite not sensible. Like, now I'm deciding whether to agree or change my mind. I feel uneasy with this whole marriage situation. And I don't know why. Mama trys as much as she can to see me smile and enjoy my moments and every time she speaks about my marriage, a hidden happiness surrounds her which is hardly seen on her face. How can I back down when this marriage is her total happiness?"

She shrugged with a teary eye. "Now don't start crying. You'll make me cry too because I'm going to miss you. But Ommata, you accepted this marriage yourself right, if so, why aren't you at ease with the whole situation"

His forehead creased, looking more or less like their father. He knew Ommata very much that he could even write a book about her but what disturbs him is that he has never seen her in distress, she's the jovial and cheerful lit of the house. When her marriage date was fixed with Junaid, she became overwhelmed with everything surrounding her. Her mood, action, rantings and cheerfulness increased.