That Sun That Never Sets

Lies

You can take everything I am
Like I'm made of glass,
Like I'm made of paper.

-Demi Lovato

Dear Leqs,

I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything that I said before. Can you please forgive me? I met someone today. His name is Alexis. He's tall and broody. Just our type. Not a good guy at all. I know you like them bad boys--the ones that you hide in your closest when you're close to getting caught by your parents. You're not that innocent hijabi girl that everyone thinks you are, but that doesn't mean that you aren't a good person. You have good intentions. You don't mean to do harm. Me and you are exactly alike in that sense. The only different thing about us is that you enjoy sleeping with your friends' boyfriends. Opening those eyes wide open, right? Taking a picture with your eyes closed right? I never thought that you could do something like this to me, but I guess I should have known that the worst things in life come free to me. I mean, haven't you realized already? Everybody that I have known has betrayed me. Even you have, My. Dear. Best. Friend.

I mean, if I could have pulled out at my hair, as every bone in my body screamed for freedom from everything that fate had thrown at me from the skyscrapers that reached above the heavens, I would have done everything in my power to help you and them. If I hadn't been kind to everyone, then I swear to God that I would have the upper hand.

Why does everyone that I open my heart to treat me in horrible ways? Should I stop wearing my heart on sleeves? Should I turn in my heart into a jar of coldness that burns those that dare to touch it? I've learned to live and I've learned how to live like a dead person in this world. My body is numb. I am numb. I needed you, dear friend. And I needed Alexis too, but the both of you have betrayed me. One had betrayed my soul, while the other had betrayed my body.  So don't come back to me. Don't come back at all when you go on your trip to Cancun. #richgirlproblems

I just cannot believe how everyone thinks that I'm fine. How everyone assumes that behind my fake smile is true happiness. I have failed in my school life, social life, and my familial life. Did you know that I aborted a baby? Oh my God, if my parents found out about this, they would've killed me. I know that they don't care about me at all, but imagine what that would've done to their reputation if they had found out about it. The only reason why I was able to abort the baby was because of Alexis. He took me to a doctor that he knew. He promised that he wasn't going to tell anyone about this secret. In return for him knowing about my secret, he told me one of his.

Alexis Rhiland is on the registry. He never specified to me what registry it was, but he told me that it wasn't something criminal. Anyways, I don't think that someone as charming as he is would be on a criminal registry-thing anyways, he's too good for that sort of thing. Besides, I had my second cousin check for him in the database and he wasn't there at all. But even Alexis left me for someone else.  Someone prettier, younger, slimmer, and less problematic.

And you left me to deal with your own demons. You weren't there when I needed you. Nobody was there for me except for this stupid journal that I pour my heart into. I don't know if you're ever going to receive these letters, but I need to let you know that tomorrow is going to be the start of a new day.

I have a feeling in my bones that everything is going to change. You won't have to worry about me anymore.

Sincerely,
Your Ex-Friend