Philophobia~The Fear of Love~ Jikook

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Another chapter for you all, Lovelies!

Jungkook's POV:

As the weekend starts, I feel lonelier than ever. I know Jimin's been going through a lot....but I also know that he has an afternoon class on Sundays...which means I have time for snooping. 

I wait until 3 in the afternoon, which gives me about two hours to dig around, and that should be enough. 

Slowly I open the door, poking my head inside to make sure the coast his clear. I step inside and shut the door, walking to his bed. I check everywhere for a journal or any notes that might tell me what's going on with him, but there's nothing. 

I walk to his bathroom, looking around at everything in there, but it all looks the same. I sigh and walk to his drawers, opening each one and rummaging through it. When  I find a dildo I can't help but chuckle and put it back. Again, I find nothing of importance and begin to think that there's nothing really wrong with him, just that he's needs a little space. 

I walk to his desk, checking each drawer and looking through everything he's got stuffed in the bookshelf. 

I find a sticky note that has the letters hGC written on it. I hum and type it into my phone, feeling shocked when I realize that it's a pregnancy hormone. 

"Maybe he's taking an anatomy class I didn't know about." I mumble as I keep looking through his things.

I open one drawer and look through the papers that are stuffed in there...which is when I find a few things stuff in the very bottom. The pamphlets shock me at first. I mean....why would he be looking at things like this. 

"He...he would tell me if he was pregnant." I whisper to myself as I look through them. I nearly vomit when I read the abortion pamphlets. "Why would someone even do this?" I sigh and toss it onto the bed in frustration. As I continue to look through his things, I notice digestion pills and stomach relief pills here and there in his drawers, and it all seems very suspicious to me. 

Just as I'm about to put everything away and leave, something catches my attention. four torn pieces of paper sit atop the trashcan. Gently I kneel down, picking up the papers. 

"What....?" I whisper to myself as I set the pieces down on the desk and grab the tape. I begin to patch the picture back together, and when I realize what I'm looking at, I suddenly feel faint. 

I sit onto the foot of his bed, holding the black and white picture in my quivering hands. I look back and forth between the tiny white circle and the abortion pamphlets and suddenly I heave, running to the bathroom. I rush to the sink, throwing up all of my lunch. 

Quickly I wash it all away, rinsing my mouth and washing my face in cold water. I look in the mirror for a long minute....thinking about what I've just seen. 

"No...he....he can't be. I mean...he would tell me...wouldn't he?" A whole new wave of heartbreak falls over me as I realize that this is why he's been acting this way. Is this his way of rejecting me? Is he ashamed that I'm the father? Maybe he regrets it? I begin to tear up and I walk back to his bed, sitting down on it gently as I look over the crushed picture. 

My  fingers tremble as I run  them over the tiny, white circle. I've always planned on marrying Jimin, I've never had anything thoughts otherwise. He means everything to me, and now....now I've got two things in this world that mean everything to me. 

I become smitten with this tiny circle, crying and smiling as I look at it, and kiss it. I've never felt so in love, except for when I met Jimin. "I wonder what we're gonna name you?" I ask the tiny picture. "Will you be a girl or a boy?" I chuckle and suddenly remember the pamphlets sitting next to me.