amnesia

chapter 1:

Logan's POV-

it was about 3am when I woke up in a sudden panic. my heart was racing and it felt like my chest was on fire, I could barely breathe. this happens frequently and I've learned to deal it. I found out 3 years ago, when I was 16, that I have heart valve disease. basically it causes severe, annoying symptoms and can lead to heart failure. the doctors all agree that my heart is pretty strong and that It should last a while before even thinking about shutting down. that just means I will have to suffer for quite a while. whenever I have my episodes I always just sit up and wait it out, there's really not much I can do. as I sit here in pain I put on my headphones and turn on some music to pass the time from my favorite band, 5sos. my favorite member is ashton but I love them all. there's just something about his beautiful hazel eyes and his curly dirty blond hair that kills me. sadly as I sit here in pain, it only makes me realize how I'm never gonna meet them, so not only am I hurting physically but also emotionally. after about 30 minutes the pain started to fade and I began to lie down slowly and hissed whenever a sliver of sharp pain would hit. I lie there listening to my favorite song, amnesia, while staring at the ceiling as I began to slowly fall asleep.

Due to my rough night I woke up at 3pm with an awful headache. amnesia had been on repeat all night and was still blaring from my headphones and into my ears. I slowly crawled out of bed and hobbled down the stairs. when I got downstairs mom was sitting in the chair watching tv and dad was sitting at the table on his iPad. "good afternoon hun" mom said to me. "yeah yeah" I replied back. "where's the hot sock?" I asked. "it's in the top cabinet" dad replied. the hot sock is basically a sock filled with rice that we heat up and put on our heads for headache relief, it's nothing special really. after the hot sock spun around in the microwave for a minute, I grabbed the steaming sock and slowly climbed up the stairs and crawled back in bed. after lying there for a while I got up and decided to turn on the radio for a change. as soon as I turned it on a voice blasted through the speakers, "5SOS AND 1D TOUR FRONT ROW TICKETS AND MEET AND GREETS FOR THE 7th CALLER! CALL NOW" immediately I picked up my phone and began to dial the number "pick up pick up pick up" I mumbled to myself forgetting all about my headache. before I knew it I heard a voice in my ear. "hello 7th caller congratulations! if you answer this question right you will win 2 5sos/1D front row tickets and meet and greets. okay, now what color are ashton Irwin's eyes?" I thought to myself 'I could answer this in my sleep!' "hazel" I replied into the phone. I wait for the dj to confirm my answer but instead I hear "hello, hello?" in panic I began to scream "HAZEL HAZEL" into the phone but no answer. before I knew it the line went dead. I looked at my screen and began to cry when I saw that my cheek had hit the mute button. I was crushed, only a stupid person would make such a stupid mistake like that. what is wrong with me, I completely ruined my chances and my life! completely humiliated at myself, I face planted on my bed, lied there, and cried myself to sleep, cause honestly, 'I'm really not fine at all.'

I woke up around noon surrounded by tear stained sheets. feeling awful, I decided I needed a break. I slid out of bed and jumped in the shower. I quickly got out and blow dried my long blond locks and straightened them. I slipped on a red tank and then walked over to my closet and picked out a crop shirt that had 'ash xx' on the front of it. I slipped on some black skinny jeans, red vans, and to top off the look I added the signature red bandana. finally after putting on my makeup I grabbed the keys to my jeep and backed out of the driveway. I turned on my bluetooth and it started playing amnesia but I left it on because I was content. as the lyrics blasted through the speakers, I began to cry at the thought of me never going to get to meet them after remembering the awful incident that had happened yesterday.