Here For the Credit • Gawsten (boyxboy)

Chapter 14: A Finale, Of Sorts

perhaps.... this is the last chapter..... perhaps.... there will be an epilouge..... perhaps..... thank you for all the support as i've been working on this fic for almost a year

also (perhaps) go send @theghostofashton aka the WONDERFUL neha all the love in the world. this chapter wouldn't be here without her! i scanned my writing and she helped me out by typing most of this chapter up for me bc i got majorly blocked. she's an outstanding writer and if you aren't reading dichotomy.... what are you even doing with your life?

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Awsten was pretty sure he was going to have a panic attack. He'd never actually had a panic attack, but he imagined that this is exactly what it felt like.

His breathing was heavy, and so was his chest in general. Everything was weighted. It felt rough, jagged, like someone could tap him on the shoulder and be cut by his sharp edges. At the same time, he felt as if the same touch could shatter him into a million different pieces.

He refused to be fragile, resisted his natural instinct to cry in front of holy shit all of his senior class is here and they have their phones out, they're practically getting embarrassed for him, he's a public embarrassment, he's a failure he's a- no.

Awsten deals with it head on. Despite feeling like there's weights attached to his ankles, he drags his feet across the floor. He pushes through the crowd of people, there's so many people, and he steps onto the stage.

He stares out onto the hundreds of kids, curse living in a bigger city, and he had a smile on his face. It's not genuine, but they don't know that. To them, he's beaming. They don't know he's ready to jump off this stupid fucking stage and hope he gets a major leg injury or breaks his neck.

He keeps the false smile on his face as there's dead silence, as Geoff is wide-eyed beside him. He knows the smile is fake and he knows Awsten is going to break down any second, and as the queen's crown is placed on his head, he wants nothing but to squeeze his boyfriend's hand and tell him it's going to be just fine.

However, he can't. Now isn't the time, nor the setting.

"Are there any, uh, words you would like to say? A few thank-yous?" The principal, classic Charbonneau asks, who Geoff is well aware Awsten despises. He adjusts his stupid fucking bolo tie before gesturing towards the microphone centered at the edge of the middle of the stage.

Awsten smiles even wider. It's sneakily wider. He has something planned. What that plan is? Geoff is unsure.

"Yes, actually," Awsten states loudly, a slightly edge to his voice as he walks up to the mic. It's something beyond intense. His knees are jelly, his body is shaking, there's phone cameras on him from literally every angle. The air feels thick, like a wool sweater that covers every inch of his body.

He coughs loudly, obnoxiously loudly, into his fist which the mic very clearly picks up. After, he says two words, and two words only. He states them monotonically and bluntly. These two words say everything.

"Ahem. Fuck you."

Then he runs off the stage, crown, sash, and all.

———

Geoff runs after him immediately, despite the staff's protest. He feels hundreds of eyes, and cameras, on him as he runs out of the gym and through the halls. Awsten isn't in any of the surrounding ones.

Geoff discovers him outside the main office, and his arms are above his head as he sobs, facing the wall and aggressively kicking it. If he's not more careful, he'll hurt himself, but Geoff understands and lets him vent. He needs it, and if he's in immense pain, he'll most likely stop.