In My True Element

Chapter 9

I'm so deep in this mess that I can't even see straight. In the hotel bathroom I sit on the edge of the bathtub trying to collect my thoughts together.

How did I lose control earlier in the park? I'd promised myself that if I ever met her again, I wouldn't let her get under my skin, I'd stay cool, and I'd laugh in her face. Instead I start hyperventilating every time she's near me and I want to scream at her.

Squeezing my eyes shut and willing the pain in my chest away, I get back to my feet with a heavy sigh, wrap a towel around my waist and go back into my room.

There I find Ilana, who has let herself in. She is sitting on a chair staring blankly at the wall. Trying to ignore the gentle curve of her lips I remind myself of how much I actually hate her. She wants to see my family dead. She despises all of us. I used to be sorry that Brackwick was her father, I used to worry that she had to merry Brat, now I see that she is just one of them.

"Have you forgotten something?" I snap at her. One camera was placed on my nightstand and another on the table the moment we entered my room, which was about thirty minutes ago. So now I can find no explanation for her being here.

"No, I didn't."

"So?" I run my hand through my wet hair that looks much darker than it actually is, waiting for an explanation.

At first Ilana says nothing; she just sits there angrily eyeing me. It feels like if it were up to her, I would already be dead. She must really regret she didn't kill me all those years ago. As I think it, her eyes slide to my chest and focus on the ugly scar that starts burning under her glare. It's curious that ever since I met her again, my scar started hurting. As if the wound hadn't healed completely and I hadn't realized it until I came back. Wishing the fire in my chest away I cock one of the eyebrows and cross my hands awaiting her answer.

Finally she stands up, annoyance written all over her face, "I came here to tell you to be ready at six." Her haughty voice makes me itchy, so I walk in her direction and stop just a few inches from where she's standing. A shadow crosses her face. She doesn't like my proximity, her left eye twitches and she nervously swallows.

"Do you mind taking a few steps back?" Would I? I think to myself. In the park she made me angry, now it's my time to return the favor.

"Do I make you feel uncomfortable?" I say in a low husky voice forbidding myself to think of how maddeningly pleasant her perfume is.

"It makes me feel sick." I recognize her effort to sound tough, but the barely noticeable quiver in her voice speaks volumes. I lean forward and reach for the bathrobe I left on a table behind her back.

"That's interesting. You don't look very sick to me." I say straightening up with the bathrobe in my hands and taking a few steps back. "I guess I'll see you in the morning." Without me standing in her way she has no problems leaving the room, which she does while whispering unintelligible blasphemies under her breath.

The damned sleep eludes me. I try to think of the talisman, then try to count sheep, but all I can think of is how right it felt standing next to her. And how soft her skin looked. Interesting, does it still taste like sunshine.

I close my eyes and groan. It has to stop. I can't go down that path again, because better than anyone else I know where this path's leading. To my complete destruction. By sheer luck I managed to survive the first time, I doubt I would the second time.

At about two o'clock in the morning I get out of bed and drag my feet across the frieze carpet. I enter the bathroom and splash my face with cold water that cools down my burning skin. Without drying it I go back into the room, turn on the lamp on the nightstand and pick up the talisman that's lying right next to it.

"What am I missing?" I ask while turning it around in my hands when I realize that some letters have started to shake.

"What the heck?" I lift it closer to my eyes, examining every letter very carefully. Some of them are definitely shaking. It's like they want to spring to life and start dancing, but something is holding them back. I move my thumb over the talisman's surface, leaving a wet trail behind, and the rest of the letters start doing the same crazy dance.

"Water!" I scream, jumping to my feet and running back to the bathroom. There I quickly turn on the faucet and place the talisman under the running water. Just as I expected the letters start shaking more violently, some of them jumping up and down. Running my hand through my hair, I think of what that might mean. Why do they react to this water when they didn't do anything back at home?

Whatever the answer, I'm just happy that something is finally happening.