Five Days of Perpetual Night

Chapter 3

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Unable so lost

I can't find my way

Been searching, but I have never seen

A turning, a turning from deceit

'Cause the child roses like

Try to reveal what I could feel

I can't understand myself anymore

'Cause I m still feeling lonely

Feeling so unholy

'Cause the child roses like

Try to reveal what I could feel

But this loneliness

It just won't leave me alone, oh no

I'm fooling somebody

A faithless path I roam

Deceiving to breath this secretly

A silence, this silence I can't bear

'Cause the child roses like

Tries to reveal what I could feel

And this loneliness

It just won't leave me alone, oh no

And this loneliness,

Just won't leave me alone...

Tuesday, June 7, 2011 Early morning

I wake in the early dawn hours to find that I am still reclining on the sofa in the great room. I rise and take a long stretch and inhale as I do. I exhale and roll my neck from side to side, trying to relieve the tension that has built up. I see John in a few hours and I am very nervous. If I go to bed now I may get two more hours of sleep, but I am too wound up for that. I decide that the best course of action is to take a hot shower to loosen the knots in my neck and to relax. I know that today's session with John will drain me mentally and emotionally.

I decide on the long, hot shower. I close my eyes; my aching muscles absorb the soothing heat and steam of the shower. My mind drifts to when Ana first came to Escala to sign the NDA. She saw the playroom for the first time and I saw her shock. I saw her innocence and naivety regarding Domination and Submissive roles. I saw her fear of me there in the playroom. I thought for sure that she was going to bolt. I showed her the Playroom Rules. The big revelation that she confided was the secret of her virginity with me. This was my first bout of shock; Ana, a beautiful, single, twenty-one year old virgin. How in the hell was she able to avoid sex for so long? Ana is so beautiful and so strong and so sweet. But just so damn oblivious of her own beauty! It's a wonder that no one ever swept her off her feet—and with all of her admirers! That night I took her virginity (as I told her then) –a means to an end. I wanted her as my submissive but she needed to know what she was in for. I wanted her all the more for it. I basked in the beauty of her body. I basked in the glory of her kisses. I recall stroking her soft skin and she in return pulling my hair and moaning in my mouth. I was lost then. She had such a profound effect on me. I was already lost to her but she did not know it then.

I told her she was mine then. Only mine. I bathed her afterward for the first time. It was magnificent. I taught her how to give me manual and oral pleasure; both she took to with great adroitness. I too, got to familiarize myself with her body and savor her hidden and virginal delights. She was mine and made only for me; my untainted lover.