Hold Me Close

Sober

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why

I do it every, every, every time 

It's only when I'm lonely 

Sometimes I just wanna cave  

And I don't wanna fight 

I try and I try and I try and I try and I try

Just hold me, I'm lonely 

The vomit on the floor left a rank smell in the apartment. Alec tried to understand what would cause Magnus to go down this road again. It broke his heart. He looked for the Indonesian warlock, unsure where to start the conversation he knew they needed to have. It seemed that he couldn't stop the  downward spiral that the warlock was intent on sending himself into. "Magnus?" he called. A groan from a distant part of the place led him to the bathroom, where Magnus laid slumped against the toilet. Blood speckled the pristine white of the tiles. The sight of crimson made Alec want to get sick, but he stopped himself from doing so in order to help his boyfriend. 

Momma, I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore 

And daddy, please forgive me for the drinks spilled on the floor

 To the ones who never left me 

We've been down this road before 

I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore

White powder lined Magnus' nose and Alec immediately knew what happened. "By the Angel, Magnus. What've you done?" The warlock moaned in pain; it seemed that the cocaine was making its way through his veins way too quickly for Magnus' liking. He watched as his boyfriend threw up again. Maybe when he sobered up a little more, they'd have the talk. But only when Magnus understood what he was to doing to Alec. He moved back to the sitting area and ordered the leftover partiers out of the apartment. Once they'd left, he filled a glass with water and pile some of Magnus' favourites onto a plate. He hoped that once the water was in his system, the drugs might start wearing off. 

To the ones who never left me

We've been down this road before

I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore

I wanna be a role model 

But I'm only human

 Glitter coated Magnus' skin and he quietly set to work wiping it all off. Makeup was running down his partner's cheeks; this was so unlike Magnus that it threw Alec for a loop. "I'm sorry, Alexander," muttered the high warlock. Alec sighed. It hurt seeing his lover so out of it. "We need to talk about this, Magnus," he stated. A heaving breath was the only warning he got before Magnus got sick again. "It's okay, love," he softly reassured. "Everything's going to be okay." The only thing was, he wasn't entirely sure that everything would be okay. He silently stood by while Magnus threw himself into drugs and alcohol like he was trying to forget something. He thought about the way Magnus had curled in on himself the last few weeks. Was it to do with him? 

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why

 I do it every, every, every time 

It's only when I'm lonely 

Sometimes I just wanna cave

 And I don't wanna fight

 I try and I try and I try and I try and I try

The last thing Alec wanted to do was call Catarina, but it was the only thing he could do. "Hi, Catarina," he breathed into the phone. "It's Magnus. He did it again." Apparently that was all Catarina needed to know, because she hung up before he could finish his sentence. A Portal appeared in front of his eyes. She stepped through and slowly moved past Alec. "What is it this time?" Her tone was detached, almost cold. It made sense why it sounded that way; this had happened far too many times in far too few days. A scratch along Magnus' cheek caught Alec's attention. He hadn't seen that before when he'd been washing the glitter off his body. "Cocaine, I'm pretty sure. It might've been laced with something." They both stilled when Magnus groaned into the the toilet. 

Just hold me, I'm lonely 

Momma, I'm so sorry I'm not sober anymore 

And daddy, please forgive me for the drinks spilled on the floor 

Blue sparks made the room brighter as Catarina ran her hands over Magnus' body, checking for any signs of other drugs. She sighed and nodded at Alec when a purple glow lit up Magnus' side. "You're right, Alexander. The cocaine was laced. What with, I'm not sure, but it's sending his body into an overdose. I'll need to detox him." Alec knew that it would come to this, he just hoped that it wouldn't. All his hoping and praying couldn't have stopped his love from torturing his own body and mind. More muttering from Magnus echoed throughout the bathroom. Alec understood what was about to happen. Magnus would detox and they would sit down in the sitting room, both him and Catarina, and talk to him about the dangers of his habits. 

 I'm not sober anymore 

 I'm sorry that I'm here again

 I promise I'll get help

Magnus mumbled more under his breath and the two of them sighed. Hewas waking up from his self induced drug coma. Alec lifted Magnus off the bathroom floor and tenderly laid him him the couch and took a seat across from him. He watched as Catarina gingerly sat on the floor, steeling herself for the conversation that was to happen. She lifted her hands and a warm blue glow surrounded Magnus' entire body. It made Alec tired; the thought of Magnus purposefully putting himself through the pain of a detox was staggering to him. Soft words spoken by Catarina brought him out of his hazy thoughts and he carefully looked over Magnus. It was time for the discussion to begin. 

 It wasn't my intention 

I'm sorry to myself  

Once Magnus awoke, he tried to sit up. Alec eased him back down, shooting him a small, sad smile. "Alec, what's going on?" A groan passed his lips and Alec passed him a glass of water. "We need to talk, Magnus," he declared. Magnus hung his head. It seemed that he knew what this was about. Nodding at Alec, Catarina started. "The drugs that you took had been laced with something that could've killed you, Magnus. The cat-eyed warlock acknowledged the seriousness of the situation and opened his mouth to speak. Alec took a deep breath and waited for the explanation that would tell him why his lover had done this. "I know it was laced, Catarina. I was the one who laced it. I overdosed deliberately."