Photo Finish

Too Close For Comfort

     It had been a week since the after party and the interview with Mr. Singer, the CEO of Tritea Modeling. To be completely honest, my life was a thousand times better than it had been in the past season. With Precious getting a boyfriend, I didn't know what I would do. My contract was the only thing paying my bills, and to feed Em and Damon was an expensive hassle in and of itself. Not to mention the amount of toilet paper they use after they - ahem - never mind. The fact of the matter was that Lucas and I were becoming closer.
     "Oh, hey Ladybug."
     I turned to my brother, a spoon full of oatmeal in his mouth. I smiled and waved. Damon nearly choked on his food and spat into the bowl.
     "Damon! Are you okay?" I ran to him with a handkerchief and wiped the stray oats from his lips. Damon froze and stared blankly past me. "You have to be careful. What'll I do if you choke and die?"
     "That's a little better," he muttered, then pushed my hand away. I dropped the kerchief and looked up at him worriedly. He took my shoulders tightly and stared into my eyes. "Are you okay? Are you sick?"
     I laughed nervously and tried to shake from his grip. "What do you mean? Damon, that hurts."
     "'What do you mean?' Are you kidding me? You are way more feminine than usual!" He exclaimed, letting me go and picking his bowl from the nightstand he had set it upon. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
     "Of course! Why wouldn't I?" I asked, rubbing the new injuries on my upper body. "I have to get ready for work."
     "Right, sorry. I'm just not used to you acting like this." Damon turned and shut the door as he left.
     I sighed, pulling out a long black t-shirt and dark jeans. Thank goodness I have oversized tops, I thought, or else my life would be miserable.
     "Lu!"
     Whack!
     "Ow! That hurt!" I shouted as I sat at the breakfast table. I rubbed my injured arm while glaring at my roommate.
     "I barely hit you," Em argued.
     "Whatever. I need to go to work," I said, getting up and taking care of my bowl.
     "Will you be directing him again?"
     I turned to my sly roomie. "Yes, I'm his personal photographer and director after all."
     "Oh, good luck. I wonder when you'll bring him home." She rested her head in her hand and stared off dreamily.
     "That'll never happen! He thinks I'm a guy, and it'll stay that way. Love is for losers. No offense." I went to the door.
     I sat and slid on some black vans. Em walked up behind me, her arms crossed. She knelt, tucking the end of her pretty, floral skirt into the back of her knees. She leaned forward and rested a hand on my shoulder. I flinched and she retracted her gesture. I grabbed her hand. I wanted the attention. It made me feel a little better, so I put her palm on the top of my head. 
     "I've been depressed," I stated. "I don't know why, but it's constant and it won't stop. I feel a little better when I act more womanly. What's wrong with me?"
     "Nothing's wrong with you, you're just deprived of your true nature. You want to act like a female, but you're bottling it all up. What you need to do is go shopping with me for something other than ripped jeans and a fake mustache." Em ruffled my wavy hair. "You slept with it wet last night, didn't you? It's cute. Let's go shopping after you get home from work, okay?"
     I turned and embraced my friend securely in my grip. I clasped onto her silky shirt and dug my face into her torso. Tears came to my eyes.
     "You're too selfless," she said as she pat my back. "You need to think about yourself for once. I know you want to love someone, but you just won't admit it."
     "Love doesn't exist, not for me," I spat with a soft sob.
     "That's not true!" The purple-nette pushed me off of her and held the sides of my arms in a death grip. She leaned forward even more until our noses touched and eyed me intensely. "You can't let that one guy tell you your entire future. He has no right to tell you who can and who can't love you."
     "Emilia..."
     "You need to get your head out of the dirt, Laurraine. Look around and notice the peoples' feelings around you. We love you very much. I bet if Lucas knew you were a girl, he wouldn't leave you alone."
     I dropped my head in shame. She was right, I needed to get my head out of the mud and open my eyes. Maybe love really -- no...
     "Laurraine, Evan didn't know what he was talking about. You were always popular, and beautiful, and way too good for him. Not to mention, you were the top of your class. He was a dumbass for not seeing the angel in front of him. Yet you listened to him, cut your hair, and started going by Yao because of what? Insecurity?"
     I nodded and wiped away a tear threatening my eye.
     "What is there to be insecure about? You are the smartest, most beautiful woman I've ever met. And Lucas? I bet he would say the same."
     'Should I tell him?' No! What was I thinking? Lucas wouldn't love me, he'd be appalled. I'd lied to him and deceived him. Love didn't exist for someone like me. I was terrible!
     I removed Em's hands and stood, my head low. "I'm going now."
     "Wait, put this on." Em shoved a long, jean jacket at me. I slipped my arms into the rolled up sleeves and fixed the collar. The girl looked me up and down, then snapped. "Damon, come here!" She called.
     "Yeah, babe?" He asked. "Hey!"
     "No hats in the house. Lu is borrowing this," she replied, snatching the black ball cap from my brother's head. She put it on over my wavy fluff and pushed me towards the door. "Do you want a scarf too? It's a little chilly today."
I smiled and nodded, presented with a white, knit scarf. I wrapped it around my slender neck and opened the door.
     "I'm off."
     "Get there safe. Love you!" Damon called, leaving to the living room.
     "Lu, I think you should tell him, but if you don't, there's always next time. Don't stress over it."
     "Okay, Em."
     I turned and left the apartment.