notes || jaenoren (norenmin)

onze

Renjun had done nothing but cry over the loss of anything and everything his mind could come up with, and pace his room with anxiety flooding his veins wondering what the hell his mother was going to do with his sorry gay ass, the entire weekend. That was, up till Sunday. 

Then, he was just bored. There was only so much you could cry over when your life at home was already shitty. His mother (or his sister, it didn't matter) had pushed pieces of bread under the door at random intervals. He was getting water from the small bathroom attached to his bathroom. Not ideal, yes, but at least he wouldn't die of starvation or dehydration anytime soon. His mother couldn't just keep him holed up in here forever. Or could she? 

In the meantime, he had to just find something to pass the time. Games or anything of the sort were out of the question as he was devoid of any devices. So, drawing would have to be his little getaway for now. 

So he drew away, whatever he was thinking of. He started off with a portrait, an outline. His eyebrows crumpled together as he tuned the stature of the person. It started to look slightly familiar... and then watched in actual shock as his fingers sketched out Lee Jeno. Complete with a jersey and converse and the top button on his shirt unbuttoned and the little mole on his cheekbone and with an eye smile upon his flawless face. Too accurate without reference; Did I really spend that much time looking at him?

He tried to be exasperated at himself, but he just smiled at the drawing. One could only smile back contentedly whenever Jeno smiled at them, be it through paper or not. 

Shaking his head, he put the paper into his drawer and took out another sheet. Renjun sharpened his pencil and brushed the parings off the table. He maybe should have seen what was coming when he began drawing someone else, but was actually pleasantly surprised when he found Jaemin cocking his head at him out of the paper, long fringe falling into his eyes, and making Renjun want to brush it out of  his face so he could see them. 

Renjun looked up at the clock at the wall, and realised a mere hour and a half had passed since he had sat down at his desk. 

Oh, sweet freedom, where have you gone? Oh yeah, Daiyu's hidden you somewhere in her bosom. 

▼

Now Renjun was laying listlessly in bed, not much time later, muttering the lyrics to LA Devotee in broken English. He lifted his head to check the clock, only to discover it was only 8 o'clock. The last time he had checked, it had been 7:40. His head thumped back onto the bed, and a groan escaped his mouth. There was a shuffling outside and a piece of bread was slotted under the door. That was the most interesting thing to happen this hour.

He got up, then promptly fell over because his leg had fallen asleep. He crawled across the floor, took the bread and scoffed it down. "Not a bit of butter you could pass me?" he said quietly enough, though someone must have heard it, because he heard a "Shut up, brat!" echo outside in reply. By now, Daiyu's and his mother's voices sounded all but the same. He didn't know how he hadn't noticed before that they sounded practically the same: High, obnoxious, annoying, and always pissed at him. 

He decided to just go to sleep even though it was hours earlier than he would usually resign himself to bed. Getting up with some difficulty, he walked over to his bathroom and brushed his teeth and the like. He looked at himself in the mirror, disheveled and eyes dull with meaningless absence. Absence of what? What am I missing? 

Oh, it's so obvious, Renjun, his mind scolded him.  Love, affection, the feeling of being adored and needed and all the things that make you feel fluffy and soft inside. Missing...