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And sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself

Because I could find no language

to describe them in

-Jane Austen

***

Orion was not good at hiding the secret.

It wasn't his fault.

I knew that much was true later, as I felt my head sink into my hands. The office was silent. Blissfully silent. The night sky reflected back my somber mood as both the stars and moon hid away.

Slowly the door to the office pushed itself open. The large tan wolf head peaked from around the corner, grey eyes guiltily staring at me.

I glare back at him, crossing my arms and leaning into the chair, "I'm still angry."

He slinks into the office, ears down, tail dropping and belly to the ground. The sight did make me smile, but I tried hard to repress it as his tongue darted out to wrap apologetically around my fingers.

"Don't give me that look." Puppy eyes were slowly emerging. He knew they would always win me over in our fights.

His head raises, a hopeful expression coming through him as he looks up to me.

I spread my arms out. It's the signal he needs to jump into my embrace. He's too large though. Definitely not an animal that should be fitted into one's lap. He scrambles into me, hind legs trying to find some grip to keep close.

Slowly we settle in. My legs are propped up, stretching to allow him enough room to lay upon me.

He sighs, warmth hitting my face as his jaws open in a silent pant.

It's without thinking that my hand goes up to stroke his head.

Those grey eyes close in contentment, a small hum forming in the back of his throat at the contact.

We lay there for a long time.

"They can't find out Orion."

His head doesn't move. I look down, thinking he might have fallen asleep, but grey stares intensely back at me, taking in every word I say.

"They can't know...It's just the way things are."

A low whine leaves his jaw. A whine of deep regret. I laugh at the sound.

"I know. "

His eyes close again, as we resume our silence.

I reflect back to the previous day, and Orion's actions.

The sudden bursts of excitement, his contagious smile. The change in personality- no longer was he hiding or shying away from others- but instead rushing up to them in his child-like way. It was obvious something had happened. And it was obvious from his actions, that he was happy.

Already I was receiving odd looks from the pack. Members who whispered, and women who pointed.

Males lifted their heads in the air, trying and failing to scent out a difference.

It was a thin string that I walked upon. And any moment it could snap.

So much information was being pushed on me now from both grandma and mom.

Strain is not good, Soraya.

You need to eat better.

Sleep more.

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