Eclipse Child |✔|

|54|

There are those that say love should not cause pain

and I've honestly never understood this.

When you truly love someone-

be it a child, a parent, or a romantic partner -

how can you keep that emotion held at bay?

Do you not hurt when they hurt?
Does your heart not contain a chamber fashioned on their breaths?
Does your soul not long for them when they're out of your reach?

To love another with your entire being is to love their light right alongside their dark...

and sometimes there is pain found in dark.

- Alfa (Alfa_poetry)

***

Grandma lights different herbs, letting the scents relax me.

"Breath deeply Soraya."

I do as she says, inhaling to let the smoke have its effect in calming me.

"Take this."

I don't question what it is. I just swallow the bitter pills, trying to continue breathing deeply.

Trying to ignore the rising fire that was slowly crawling up my back.

Grandma looks up towards the sky, her face smooth of emotion. She always was good at staying calm and hiding her thoughts.

"The moon is rising."

I know what her words mean.

Sweat is forming all over my body. We both know what her words mean.

She says a quick prayer, one that I don't partake in. I only close my eyes and lean forward, trying to continue breathing deeply- to ignore the rising pain.

"Grandma..."

"Ssshhh hush now Soraya. It will all be over in a few seconds. You just have withstand it for a few seconds."

Her words seem to prompt something within me.

Something in me snaps, the sound loud and audible. It's so sudden that I can't hold back the scream of pain.

"That's normal." I can hear the panic now in Grandma's voice.

I can feel it rising.

Whatever was happening, was not normal.

"Feeling this pain is normal Soraya. Just a few seconds. It's starting, but it will be over soon."

Goddess. I was panting from the effort of holding in the pain. I couldn't even describe what pain it was.

Not the fire. Not the fire I had been feeling these past years. Not a slamming pain- a quick one or a sharp searing kind. It was malicious. Cruel. Like it was taking my body and snapping every cord and connection inside me.

Like my arms were no longer arms.

Hands no longer hands.

I feel dirt on my skin and register that I am withering on the ground, hearing Grandma yelling above me.

All shifts are hard Soraya.

Schulman's voice rings within my head now as whatever pain this is, descends on me.