Among the Broken Ones

5. Drowning

(for V.D., December 24, 2011, drowned at eighteen)

If I were to choose
my own death
I want to drown at sea.

There, I‘ll have time
reminiscing, and remembering
before I ran out of air.

I‘ll dance first with the waves
and rejoice with the changing tides
before my skin wilts
and turn pale white
from too much saltwater.

I‘ll marvel at the calmness of it
and ponder on how something
so beautiful
could kill you
as you start to become her captive.

Finally, I‘ll let my body
drift to the shore
so that if you‘ll ever
walk again
by the sand that very day
and see my bloated body
I will not have to worry anymore.

For I have been changed by the sea.
You will not know it‘s me.