Ardent Declarations of Love

XIV. 》-ardent-declarations-of-♡- >>

Crystal Sapphire Emerald Stone

I am looking,
but not seeing anything.
My eyes blurry with fresh new tears.

I need to see his grave.
I need to get this out of my chest.

But not to a friend, I'll go to him instead.

With that goal in mind,
I grabbed my car keys and went out of the house-
not caring one bit of what I might look like,
preferably looking more of a zombie,
than an actual human being.

While I drive to his grave,
I can't help but think that
I met him at a time that I felt was too late.

I knew from the start that Veronica like,
or maybe even love Seth
when I first came
to tag along with the pair of them.

It's pretty obvious, really.
Just with the way she gaze at him,
with such longing in her eyes.

Sometimes she'd stare at him, openly-
without knowing she's doing it, herself.
And she'd smile almost instantly,
upon seeing him
whenever they cross paths.

Sure, at first,
I was fine with the idea of them
becoming a couple.
I even teased them at some point,
asking when would they
become officially together.

But when Seth and I was paired
in our physics project,
my feelings for Seth, started to change-
all because I got to know him better.

And since then,
I understood why Ver
fell in love with him in the first place.

But Ver is one of the best friends I've ever had
and I don't want to ruin what we have.

We are best friends, for crying out loud.
We must not fight over a guy.

So when Trenton Walker came into my life,
asking if I could give him a chance,
I grabbed the opportunity and let him distract me-
afraid to acknowledge my growing feelings towards Seth.

And it worked. God, it worked.

Trenton managed to steer me away
from my hidden feelings for Seth.

For weeks, I ignored him.
I only hang out with Ver
and some of my other newly gained friends.

At first,
When Trenton was only courting me,
he was this sweet, caring, and a total gentleman.

And I admit,
I learned to love him eventually.

But when we became official,
he started to change.
And since then,
whenever I'm with Trenton
I can't help but compare him to Seth.

And up until now,
I still don't know if ignoring my feelings for Seth
was indeed, the right thing or not.

Though one thing's for sure,
I did it for my best friend,
but in the process of lying to myself,
to Trent, and lastly, to Seth.

But if I've been given a chance to turn back time,
I'd do just the same.

For a friendship over is more painful
and not to mention-
worst than an actual breakup-
or so I thought.

Upon parking to a space near the graveyard,
I skidded to a stop.
I wipe off my tears with the back of my hand,
telling myself that there's no turning back.

I turned off the car
and headed outside.

As soon as I step on the ground,
a gushed of wind move past me,
making my heart beats frantically.

I heaved a sigh and turned around.
Making sure to lock my car
before I went to find his grave.