But Never Doubt My Love

Chapter Four - The Third Letter

It must have been one AM when Loki returned back home. He had had a fair amount to drink, and was quite drunk. Zac walked Loki to the door and said goodnight as he left. Loki stumbled inside and collapsed face first on the bed. Sadly alcohol made Loki's mind turn dark.

It was early October and Loki was around seven months pregnant now. Tom had gone out to by Loki some mint chocolate chip ice cream. Loki was having quite the craving for cold treats, he assumed it was because the babe wanted something cool. Loki walked into the bathroom as he realised he had left his watch in there after taking a bath this morning. As he walked inside the bathroom, he felt a strange feeling as if a storm was coming, and he was right. But it wasn’t the storm giving Loki that feeling as there was a sharp feeling in his stomach. He made a low ‘unf’ as it happened again. Soon he realised he was bleeding rather heavily from between his legs. The sight made Loki thing of a sea of blood as he fell to the ground. He was losing blood rapidly as his vision faded to black. One of the last things Loki heard was the thunder getting louder and the shout of his brother. “Brother!” he heard Thor call.

 

Tom arrived home from the supermarket to find Thor holding Loki's limp body in his arms before he flew Loki and Tom to the nearest hospital. Tom and Thor waited outside of Loki's room before a doctor came out and told them what Tom had been expecting to hear. There was no way to stop it. Thor turned to Tom and gave him a sympathetic look. Tom just stood and went into Loki's room, taking his hand.

The first thing Loki heard when he woke up was the sound of beeping. He opened his eyes to see Tom stroking his hand. “w-where am i?” Loki asked Tom as he tried to turn over. Tom quickly stopped him before Loki could do any damage to himself. “You’re in the hospital darling. Thor brought us here.” Loki furrowed his brow as he tried to think why he was here. He went to cup his stomach but when he felt a flat surface his eyes formed tears and his throat choked up. He turned to Tom. “No, no no, nonononono.” He kept repeating as Tom pulled Loki as far into his arms as he could without hurting him. Tom tried to calm Loki down but he himself was failing to keep his composure. Tom started to cry with his husband. Loki then pulled back slightly. “Why?” he asked, his voice rough. Tom cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. “it couldn’t be stopped… Alice had a birth defect that the doctors couldn’t pick up on until it was too late. She was never going to live.” Tom said quietly. Alice, Alice was the name they decided on for their daughter. They picked that name as they imagined her to be as curious and adventurous as Alice from ‘Alice in Wonderland’. Loki was silent as a million thoughts ran through his head. There was a knock at the door and Loki raised his head slowly. “Who is it?” he asked weakly. Tom started to see every wall that he had knocked down start to rebuild in Loki as his eyes hardened and he became distant.  Thor stepped in and Loki leaned back into the bed. “How are you brother?” he said softly as he stayed at the foot of the bed. Loki looked up at him, “how do you think I feel?” he asked rather harsher than he had intended. Thor just nodded and looked down at him feet. “Thank you Thor. If you hadn’t of been there, Loki would have died.” Tom said softly from Loki's side. Loki nodded. “Yes… Thank you,” said Loki. “Why are you even here, I did not send for you.” Loki stated after a while. Thor reached into his pocket. “to bring you this, but I appears to have rotted while we waited for you.” Thor said as he pulled out what looked to be the remains of a golden apple. Loki's eyes started filling with more tears. “Mother got it for you.” Thor added. Loki shook his head. “How long have I been here?” Loki asked now crying again. “A week and a half,” Tom stated. Loki nodded. “Thor, brother, I think it best you go back to Asgard. I wouldn’t want father to wonder where you are. Thor was about to say he was going to stay but said his goodbyes and left with a mighty storm in his path.

 

Loki woke up crying and screaming as he threw one of his pillows, accidentally knocking Tom's urn off of the table. Loki stopped in shock and ran over to it, happy to hear that there wasn’t a smash. He picked it up and placed it back where it was. “I’m sorry Thomas.” He whispered as he went into the kitchen and took some aspirin.

Three weeks later:

The knock of the mail man came later than usual this day. Loki answered the door, was handed his letter and said goodbye to the mail man. He opened the letter as he had the previous two and read.

“My dearest Loki,

I’m glad to see that you sang some karaoke. I bet I can guess what song you did. It was my favourite wasn’t it? I’m telling you Loki, you’re becoming too predictable in your old age. Now I know you’ll be against this but get rid of all of my things, my clothes, anything of mine that you don’t need. I’m not there anymore so there is no reason to keep them. You’ll finally get the closet space you wanted. You don’t need my belongings to make it seem as if I’m there, because I am always with you Loki,

From Tom.

PS. Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth be a liar, but never doubt my love.”

Loki stood stock still for a few moments as he thought of packing everything away and he shuddered. He decided to call Zac to help him as he knew he wouldn’t get rid of things he should.

Zac arrived about an hour later with some cardboard boxes. It took the two off them three hours to pack everything away. The only things of Tom's left where they were were his books and the black leather jacket that Loki loved so much. Zac ended up taking a few of the boxes with him as Loki didn’t need the things in them and Zac seemed to like them.

It must have been around eleven when Loki went to sleep that day. With one last glance at Tom's urn he went to sleep.