A change of air

Chapter 1: Looking Back

I had never been popular. My confidence is pretty low. I am not an easygoing person, and I classify myself as "normal" or how it should be actually called: "boring".

I've always looked forward to fit in wherever I go, must of the times I fail, but at least I manage to get some friends and survive with a positive attitude and focused on what is important.

This time it was different, faraway from my expectations. Half of my life had been bullshit; so when graduating from junior high, and with the change of school; deep inside me I hoped with all my might that my experience in high school would be different in a good way, and with many friends. Of course, that was complete stupidity, and I realized just a week and a half after the first day of school, moreless.

The first day of school I was pretty shy and scared. I arrived to this big white building, it was very nice, all bright and beautiful. I was very excited. I felt like I had a new start.

The next days went on ok, I met people in my class. The only people I knew from my old school, were a loud nerdy-geek girl and a handsome-jerk guy. The first one was supposedly my friend, but she's always been independant and lonely (she is better without me and she makes it noticeable) and the second one... well, I think I'm not even aloud to talk to him. He is popular wherever he goes, and this school wasn't the exception.

And me, I was just so stupid, I realize. A few days went by and I was already landing on my usual place (invisible). Students were already planning parties, reunions, pijama parties... and they were so cynical, as to talk about it in my face, and not inviting me, like if they wanted me to know, like if they wanted to make me feel bad, left aside. That's how I fell into account that people around here, might not be so nice or welcoming, and that hit me hard as I had to learn it through the rough way. This time it was even worse, because I had no friends to rely on, or to support me. I was so sad, no one, alone ALONE. I had never been in that place, never.

I seriously didn't understand what had I do wrong. I looked for an answer every sec, every hour, every day. I guess I tried so hard to be embraced by others that it affect me. I should have stay with myself, at least at that moment, I was still myself, still a whole. At least those days I still had time and I still had a chance; but I didn't know.

It is easy for me to claim there should have been a sort of angel or something to help me, that there should have been someone that embraced me, because it's easy to blame the world and never blame you, it's easy to put the responsability on someone else; but you are alone in this world, and there's no one there to catch you, you have to save yourself. Sooner or later you learn it.

And well... at least I got a lesson out of all these: Never ever again expect, I'll just get deeply dissapointed.

On my mind I created a note for self.

.
.
.
Hi, this is my first story and I would like to know what you think, and if you want me to keep on writting, so please leave your comments.