Part of Me (O2L)

chapter 3

It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things. -Theodore Roosevelt

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I woke up the next morning feeling numb. Which was quite a pleasant change. I was already over waking up feeling tired and sad. likewise, I needed to fix myself. In fact, I needed to fix myself majorly. And I also needing to get working on my farewell video, my last YouTube video for a while. But I couldn’t currently do that, because all of my equipment was at my old apartment.

I was hesitant to go and get it at first, but I knew that if I didn’t do it now, I would just keep on putting it off. I would get caught in a repetitive cycle of putting it off. And then I would never do it. So I hopped into my old red Chevy Traverse, and drove to my old apartment.

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  As I headed in through the apartment door, I felt a wave of tears coming on. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I couldn’t handle this. I shook my head, and took a deep breath of air. You can do this. You’re strong enough. I told myself.

I can do this.

I Walked into the living room and smiled to myself. We’ve had some great times in this room. Even a few parties with fellow YouTubers. I was going to miss this place.

From the living room, I turned into the hallway and walked all the way down into the room that had once belonged to me. My eyes roamed over to the area that had been designated for youtubing. I laughed when I noticed that it was the only clean part of the room. I grabbed my camera and two of my lights first, and began my walk to the car. I had a lot of equipment, and I would need to take it out in shifts.

After carrying all of my recording equipment out to my Chevy, I returned to my apartment to grab a few other things that I thought were essential. (More clothes, shoes, makeup, hair stuff, etc.) So, after grabbing a bag from my bedroom and the other things needed from there, I mindlessly walked into the bathroom. But when I actually got inside of the minuscule little place, everything came rushing back to me.

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It was a Friday night and Morgan and I were in the car, driving to a party at Sawyer Hartman’s house. Originally, we were going to stay home with Taylor. She hadn’t been feeling great lately. She hadn’t been feeling well for a little around a year actually, but this week, Taylor was feeling particularly sad, and Morgan and I wanted to stay home with her to make sure that she would be okay. But after her persistently insisting that she would be fine, and that she had a YouTube video to film always, we finally caved, and left for the party.

The buzz for this party had been insane, and in all honesty, I was super happy that Morgan and I were going to be able to go. I felt bad for leaving Taylor, but at the time, she had me convinced that she was actually, for some miraculous reason, doing okay. So I went to the party, beign compleatly and utterly blinded by the words "I'm fine."

Sawyer’s house wasn’t that large, but nobody was bothered by it. When we arrived, people were on the front lawn of his house, on the side lawn, and they were most likely in the back yard too. Music was also blaring from the inside of the house. Morgan and I smiled at each other. This wasn’t the first party of Sawyers we had attended, and the last party we were at of his, was absolutely crazy.  

Once we were inside the house, Morgan and I went our separate ways. Morgan went to find Sawyer, and I went to find one of my good friends, Ashton Peirce.

If there’s one thing to know about Ashton and parties it's that, wherever the alcohol is, that’s where you will find her. So that’s where I checked first. In the kitchen, I didn’t find Ashton, but I did find Sawyer.