losing thea

Chapter 7

THEA POV

I couldn't fall asleep that night. I kept thinking what Logan said to me this afternoon.

If he knew me, why didn't he look for me?

If we were close, why can't I remember him?

If he was telling the truth, why do I feel like he was lying?

Not going to lie, whenever I see him, I felt discomfort settling in my chest. It was like an anchor that is weighing down my heart.

Did I really know him?

If I didn't, I wouldn't have felt a slight pain in my chest every time he locks our glance. It was like a knife stabbed in my heart for a long time, slowly twisting as our glance last longer.

I was tossing in bed for hours and decided to pull my laptop out. I typed his name and found his YouTube channel and Instagram. I looked at the pictures on his social media first. I don't see me in them so there's no evidence if we knew each other. I started watching his videos but he seems different in them.

When I realize the sun is rising, I've already watched all his vlogs. I really wanted to remember but I couldn't. My head was hurting and my mind was like a misty maze.

"Thea?" Zayn knocked on the door.

"Come in," I said.

He walked in, shirtless as always, the boys never wear anything in the house and sat at the corner of my bed.

"You stayed up all night," he said. It wasn't a question but a statement.

"No," I lied.

"You are a bad liar, Thea," he chuckled.

I smiled and lied on his lap. He did a circular motion with his thumb over my forehead.

"Are you going to ask me about Logan?" I asked.

"Nope," he said.

"Why is that?" I asked. "don't you want to know if I remember him?"

"Nope," he said again.

I opened one eye and peeked at him. He saw me and smiled.

"It doesn't matter who he is, Thea. I like you and there's only you for me."

My heart melted a little but it started to sting too.

"Zayn?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you know Logan?" I asked.

"No," he said. "I've heard of him. I know who he is but we never met."

"Did you know if I knew him?" I asked.

I trusted Zayn. Since the night he saved me, he has been nothing but kind and sweet to me. Although he looks cold and mysterious to most people, he has a big heart. Whatever I need, he makes sure I get it. Whatever was hurting me, he makes sure everything will be okay. I remember waking up to nightmares the first few weeks and Zayn would run into the room to calm me down. After the first two weeks of my unexpected screaming from nightmares, I wake up to him sleeping on the floor beside my bed.

I don't know where I would be without him. But right now, I think he was hiding something. He looked stressed and annoyed when I talked about Logan.

"KSI said you did," he finally said after a short pause.

"JJ?" I sat up. "Was it the man he asked me about when we first met?" I was getting more confused by the second.

"He said you were his stepsister," Zayn said.

"What?!" I almost fell off the bed but Zayn caught me.

"Be careful!" he hissed. "no wonder you have bruises all over your leg. You can't even walk into the kitchen without hitting the island with your feet."

"That's not true," I argued.

"Really? Chase already owes Liam 5o dollars," he said.

"You guys bet on me?"

"They did," he corrected.

"Fine, whatever. Back to the stepsister thing. You are joking, right? JJ was only making a joke. I can't be his step sister. We look nothing alike. Plus, the internet said he only has a brother. But Logan said-" I paused. Logan said I stayed with him in LA. He said we grew up together, so we must have known each other since we were young. Maybe that is why JJ said I was his stepsister.

"What did he say?" Zayn asked.

"He said we used to live together," I answered simply.

Zayn narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"He never mentioned who my parents were," I said. "he said I was from Ohio."

"Maybe we can get Liam to find something," he said.

I nodded.

"Will you go back with them?" he asked.

"I don't even remember who they are," I said.

"If you can," he started. "will you?"

My silence was questionable. Truth is, I wouldn't know. They were like strangers to me now but they could mean a world to me before. How could I choose?