losing thea

Chapter 12

THEA POV

I don't know how long I've been sitting by the window. My eyes were red and swollen. My heart still ached in my chest. At one point, it became unbearable and all I wanted was to rip it out so it doesn't hurt.

How can your heart feel so heavy when you feel so empty?

"Thea," Zayn walked in and dropped his bag. He came to my side and placed his palm over my forehead. "You're burning," he growled.

"I'm fine," my voice cracked but I managed.

He narrowed his eyes and tucked me back to bed.

"Don't be mad," I grabbed his hand.

"I'm not mad," he said, like a child who is mad but too stubborn to admit his feelings.

"Then why the frown?" I gave him a soft chuckled but my heart felt like it has been cracked open and any slight movement hurts like a broken limp.

"I'm just worried," he said.

"Why are you home so quick?" I asked.

"I got a text from Xander last night. I couldn't leave when you needed me," he said.

"But the job-"

"Xander got it," he said.

Silent slowly fill the air.

"I remember now," I said finally.

His eyes snapped up.

"I remember everything," I said and felt tears warming my eyes.

Instead of saying anything, he pulled me into a hug and I cried over his shoulders.

"It hurts," I said.

He pats my back and envelope my body with his arms.

"I'm sorry," he said in my ears after I calmed down.

"It's not your fault," I said.

"I knew," he said.

I felt a stab in my heart.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I peeled his off me and looked in his eyes.

"I couldn't," he said. "I didn't know how-"

"How about the truth? You had so many chances to tell me when I asked you," I said.

"I know but would it make sense to you? What do you want me to say? That you have brothers in the States and they let you leave? That they didn't come looking for you? That they broke your heart? That your mother was abused and passed away? Would you have taken it in better?"

I was boiling. I pushed him off me and walked out the door. I already hear him just two steps behind me but I didn't care. Everyone was downstairs.

"Did you guys knew?" I asked.

"We-" Chase started but Don gave him a look.

"We tried to tell you," Danielle, Don's wife, said.

"And?" I snapped.

"Hey," Don was being protective of his wife while I felt Zayn came next to me, trying to be my anchor.

I knew I needed to leave so I grabbed the keys and ran out.

"Athea!" Zayn followed.

"Leave me alone, Zayn," I said.

"Not when you are sick," he said and grabbed my hand. He spins me around and I landed against his chest.

"Would you just listen? I'm sorry I busted out on you just now but your body is burning, Thea, you need to get back inside."

"I don't need your help," I tried to pull away from him but he was so much stronger than me and I was fighting a losing battle. "Zayn," I said calmly now, closing my eyes. "I need to be alone."

He hesitated and I felt his heart against my body.

"Okay," he finally said. I opened my eyes and I've never seen Zayn so torn. "But you stay in your room. I'll leave," he said.

"You-"

"No debts, Thea," he said and picked me up.

"I can walk, Z-" I said.

"I know," he said. "I just need to feel you close before I leave," he said.

I didn't know what he meant but I was too tired to fight.