A/N: Picture of Arenson ;) And a song by Sam Smith- Leave Your Lover- it's a song that goes along with this chapter.
We walked into the building-all fifteen of us- with Arenson, Barrymore, and I leading the way. It almost felt like the very first time I walked into the Academy. Large, condescending stone walls with huge, looming doors that screamed menace. Except here, it was actually menace and there it was peace in disguise. I shivered at the feeling of walking towards it- I hadn't noticed it when I came out, probably because I was so conflicted with myself.
I held out both my hands, and Arenson and Barrymore each grabbed the one held out to them. The three of us looked at each other, nodded, and continued on right through.
I had no idea what I was going to say. Did they know already that Arenson had let us go? That we were planning on letting everyone escape? That Arenson was betraying them and still in love with me? And that I was in love with him too?
I looked at him on my left, and my mind flashed back to a memory of me having a nightmare, waking up screaming. But he was already in there with me, I woke up surprised to see him there. My parents walked in, not shocked at him being there. Completely trusting of him. I snuggled into him, and he pulled the covers back over me, and gently brushed my hair with his fingers. I remembered the way his smell would instantly make me feel better, no matter what was wrong.
That would happen a lot of nights. I had unexplained nightmares all the time, but he was always there. We never kissed- not even on the cheek. We were so young. I thought about our very first kiss- just a minute ago. He had said he had been waiting for it for a long time. Maybe a year and a half- as long as we had been apart. I thought I would have to forget about him and come to terms with the fact that I would never see him again. It felt so hard and heart breaking at the time. Now I knew that there was a reason, even though I was so young.
Then there was Barrymore on my right. I thought about the times he had saved me, even back at the Academy. How he put his own life in danger just to keep me from hitting the ground as I fell out of the Tree. How he came to the Beyond with me, and keot me safe and comfortable at night- without my even asking if he was comfortable. He was so selfless. He seemed to know me so well, he just always knew. He was a part of my life now, he helped me grow into the person I am right here.
I remembered how quickly we had fallen for each other. We had been falling since we first met, but in the last few days I was back at the Academy, we spent so much time together. When he spent the night with me because I was lonely and afraid of the adventure ahead of me. He told me I was beautiful. Then the next day he waited hours for me under the Tree while I said goodbye to my two best friends- my brother and A.J. We almost kissed then. Then there was our first kiss, and how awkward it was at first when we bumped noses. But the moment returned so quickly and I felt so different than I ever had before.
I realized that I did love them both. And that's why neither of them could give their life. How could I decide which one died and which one stayed with me? Who COULD do something like that?
But how could I convince the Viscouncil to give it to me and not the two boys next to me? I technically couldn't, since we all agreed that whoever the Viscouncil gave it to had to get it. And I knew they would either choose me or Arenson. Chances were leaning toward Arenson. If I knew anything about evil, it was that it had pride. And by my guess they aren't about to let their enemy be the one to tear this all down. They didn't care much for Barrymore, so he would be safe.
I couldn't imagine life without them. In such a short time, Arenson had changed so much. He was the boy I used to know again. But he was also new, changed. Better. Stronger. Just like how I had changed in the last few... well, more than a year. Barrymore had almost literally been through heaven and hell together. I needed them both. Just thinking about losing either of them made me feel like I was losing a part of myself.
