Keeping Up With the Avengers

I'm mad because you stole all of our poptarts and faked your death.

 Loki squatted next to Thor's bed four inches from his face.  He wasn't quite sure how to break the news to his brother that he wasn't dead and their father dumped him on midgard, so he decided to just blow on his brother's face to wake him.

 Thor awoke to his brother blowing on his face and shaking him.  To say he was surprised was an understatement.  He was in complete and utter shock.  He was caught so off-guard that he let out a roar/scream at his brother staring at him intently from six inches away.

"Thor I have n-.  Stop screaming.  I have news from Odin."

"WHY IN THE EVERLOVING HELL ARE YOU ALIVE!"

"You sound mad." Loki stated nonchalantly.

"Of course I'm mad! You stole all of our Poptarts and faked your death for 2 years!"

Loki was slightly wary as Thor threw his hand out for Mjolnir to fly to him.  "No need for that, now brother, I have news from Odin."

"First of all, explain." Thor said still pretty erm... surprised isn't quite the correct word, but it's close enough.

"Okay, I faked my death first of all."

"Obviously."

"Then when I returned to Asgard, Father decided I was unstable and banished me to Midgard for 'moral correction' as he called it. He said to find you and tell you to 'babysit' me.  I nearly started to kill him, but he threatened to send Frigga in to 'speak' with me."

"So he dumped you on me? To babysit you while I have plenty of important things to complete here on Earth?" Thor said, anger and annoyance laced in his words.  "Unbelievable.  I will have to speak with him.  He has no business doing this.  Why couldn't he have left you with the frost giants?"

"I think that question answers itself, and besides, I thought it would be funny to bother you for a short while.  Father has Heimdall watching me, making sure I follow orders.  If I don't, himself and Frigga will come down and... um... he didn't exactly finish that threat."

A new voice chimed in, "I didn't know you were expecting visi- WHAT THE HECK"

The asgardian brothers turned to see Steve Rogers, better known as Captain America, standing in the doorway of Thor's bedroom.

"Yeah, I know, I'm 'supposed to be dead'. Well I'm not. I'm here for a while.  Banished from Asgard indefinitely and standing in Stark Tower.  Did I explain enough?"  Loki answered Steve's surprise with his classic sarcasm. 

"YOU STOLE OUR POPTARTS!" Steve yelled.

"Why are you midgardians so obsessed with sugary confections?" Loki said.  "I took one box.  There were plenty more."

"They were the last of the strawberry flavor."  Thor said, returning to the conversation. "Those are the best."

"How am I going to explain this to Tony?" Steve said, not looking forward to telling the rest of the avengers and mostly, Nick Fury. 

"Well, considering I've been eavesdropping since Loki arrived, you don't have any explaining to do to me." a familiar voice chimed in over the intercom.  Tony Stark. "But Fury is gonna be pissed.  Come down. Have breakfast. We will talk it over there."

time skip brought to you by Loki munching on poptarts in space

The avengers and Loki assembled around a large dining table in the common area of Stark Tower.  Tony, Thor, and Loki quickly and as painlessly as possible briefed the avengers on the less than ideal situation they were going to have to deal with.  Many of the team hated Loki with every fiber of their being,  the others were neutral,  and a few had never met the god of mischief. 

A plan ensued on how to tell their "bosses" for lack of a better word.  Phil Coulson and Nick Fury weren't going to be super happy. 

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The entire avengers team marched through S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters later in the afternoon.  They turned many heads because one, they were famous superheroes, two, they were all supposed to be in New York that day, and three, they had a 'dead' person walking in the middle of their posse. 

They walked to the elevators and straight to Fury's office.

"I thought that son of a bitch was dead." Fury said.  Seeming angry, but not too surprised.

"Well, for one, he isn't, two, he's here, and three, what are we gonna do with him."  Tony said to the surly director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

The conversation went on between Tony, Fury, Thor, and Loki.  So, long story short, Fury was disgruntled, Tony was irritated, Thor was annoyed at his family, and Loki was relieved they weren't going to put him in a prison.

"I'm gonna try to make this as easy as possible for all of us," Fury said, "someone has to be near Loki at all times.  This duty will rotate between all of you.  He will be a temporary part of the team and I will use him for missions just like I use y'all.  Until Odin can get his ass down here and take his whiney child back to Asgard, I'm afraid this is all we can do."

Some looked exasperated and some confused.  No one objected though, they knew Nick Fury meant what he said and there would be hell to pay if anyone went against his orders.

"And do me a favor," Fury said, "no one tell Coulson for a little while, he's a bit.... um.... vulnerable.