Princely [MxM]

Alabaster Makes A Bet. With Cassius... Boy I Wonder Who Wins

"Allie? W-what-" Jamie looked visibly shaken up and I felt even more guilty than before. "What are you talking about? What happened? Is something going on with you and Cassius?"

I pursed my lips as he rambled on. It hurt so bad to even say those words.

"I don't know if I want to keep it."

Who says that? Why- why do I feel like this?

"Allie, talk to me please," Jamie begged and crouched in front of me.

"I'm scared Jamie, I don't want to have a child," I sobbed and tried to hide my face from him. "I can't raise a kid, I don't know how."

"No, no, Alabaster I'm sure you can do it," he murmured in concern and cupped my hands in his own.

"Bu-but I don't know," I gulped and he squeezed my hands, "I don't know wh-what I'll do if it's an incubus."

"What? What do you mean?" He was just a s confused as Zisael had been. Why can't I make them understand?

"I can't raise a child that thinks they don't have any worth," I cried, my chest heaved with each breath.

"Why would they ever think that?" Jamie whispered and his eyebrows creased in concern.

I couldn't respond. My lips were set in a fine line as I tried to stop crying.

"Alabaster?" He called with apprehension.

"Because I thought that Jamie!" I blurted without thinking and immediately felt worse for telling at him. "I still..." My words trailed off, I couldn't tell him that after all of this I still felt- felt broken and worthless.

"Allie, I'm so sorry," Jamie murmured and wrapped his arms around me. I hugged him back and sobbed.

"I can't do it Jamie," I whispered pitifully, but he didn't respond and just rocked me back and forth.

"Are you going to tell him?" My friend breathed tentatively.

"I-I know I should, but I know he wants to have a child," I gulped it felt so real to confess to him. "And if I tell him that I don't- it might never be the same."

"It's your choice, it will always be your choice Allie," he murmured, "I understand."

And my heart broke all over again.

-

I said my goodbyes to Jamie after I had stopped crying and left with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I was so scared to tell Cassius. I didn't want to. But I had to. Jamie was wrong, it wasn't my choice. He would find out some other way and that would just push us farther apart.

My feet felt solid ground again, I was in our room. Right in the same place as when I left. Except this time, Cassius was in the room. He was sitting up in the bed and looked surprised to see me. I covered my face in my hands so he couldn't see how red my eyes were and know that I had cried. The bathroom was behind me and I stumbled inside and locked the door.

A moment later I could hear him on the other side, "Alabaster? What's wrong?"

I slid down the door. I'd have to tell him something. Anything but the truth.

"N-nothing, don't worry I'm fine!" I assured him, my voice sounded a lot happier than I felt.

"Don't lie to me," he whispered almost begging me.

"I'm not, promise! I just need a minute," I gulped nervously and balled my hands into fists.

"Talk to me, please," Cassius pleaded and the tone of his voice nearly destroyed all of my resolve.