...maybe the reason we never heal is because our love never dies and maybe the reason we never heal is to keep the love alive, but you lied, you lied to me Lily.
"Blain!" I hesitantly look down at the pen that fell from my shivering finger tips as I listen to my mother call out my name twice more before answering.
I wipe the small wet patches soaking into my warm cheeks and fold the paper twice then twice again and shove it into the jeans of my pocket.
S I X M O N T H S E R L I E R -
"So...how much are you shitting your self for my very existence being swept away from right under your feet and having to roam the earth in complete and utter darkness without my guidance of greatness?"
"I think I'll be free" I look towards my deeply annoying best friend in the back seat of her car and give her the fakest smile I've ever wore.
Maya has been my best friend since we were five years old when my parents moved in right next door, expect we didn't quite hit it off, in fact we hated each other. Our mothers became best friends and since that day I've been forced into "following her guidance."
"Come on Blain I'm serious, I'm worried you have no social blending skills what so ever and tomorrow your starting high school in the last year before college, you are facing a social death!" She flys her hands in the air letting her chips fall all over the car like the drama queen she is.
She's right though, I've been homeschooled my entire life but my mum thought since maya was leaving and I have no other friends it would be "good" for me. It didn't help that maya expressed her ever growing "concern" to my mother. I have no clue how to talk to people I don't even talk to Maya she just talks for me.
7am : September 8th 2018
The blinding sun rushes past my curtains and into my eyes as I try lay there for as long as possible. I think about what Maya said over and over again, I never usually Remember the last thing she said or anything for that matter.
I get up and walk over to the tiny mirror hanging weirdly on the back of my door. My messy blonde hair litters the top of my head and my pale green eyes look small and drained.
I stand there. Still, completely still while I watch myself, hating me.
"What are you doing freak?" My specimen of a little brother opens my door as he pleases and it's a really good job I am the low life, boring person everyone thinks I am.
He soon leaves as my boring existence doesn't seem to entertain him this morning. I decided to stand in front of the mirror a little while longer, taking in every detail of the things I'd change. Every awkward little imperfection.
8:30am
"You ready?" My mother stands at the door, my annoying brother at her side with a smirk as big as his face. "Ready" I nod as I swing the bag over my shoulder.
As we pull up to the large building littered with high school children my heart begins to pound in my chest and the fire rising in my cheeks.
I fumble around for the door handle before sliding out the door, not taking my eyes off my new surroundings. My mind rushes with the many possibilities of the outcome for this very bad idea.
*Don't be weird, love u*
Thanks I guess maya.
M a t h s C l a s s
I wonder aimlessly into the middle of the classroom forgetting that I should be looking for a seat. No eyes attached to my body so I was safe, unexposed and blended into the middle section of society. So I choose to sit in the middle.
"Newbie?" A fairly short male figure appears at my side without me realising, I look up to him from my seat. His raised eye brow and slight smirk catches me off guard and I'm unable to assess wether he's nice or not.
"Um yes, newbie" I slightly scrunch my nose at the my sentence choice.
"Coolio, mind if I sit, you'll need someone to talk to through Mr Brodwicks very boring teaching ways" he takes the seat directly next to me before I can even comprehend what he just said. I don't speak. I don't know why I just don't.
Piles more people flood the classroom before the teacher finally rushes through with apologetic smiles and coffee.
"Who's the new kid?" A group of four guys all similar looking sluggishly walk through the door like the class didn't start five minutes ago and stand next to me and the new associate that's attached him self to my being.
"What's your name blondie?" My new adapted friend turns to me. "Erm, blain. It's blain" I stutter.
"Blain, that's cool" this is my opportunity to ask their names, show social interest and confidence. Be cool. "Don't be weird"
"Welcome blain" each of the guys repeat and I nod my head in a slight discomfort from being the shiny new object in the room. I would much prefer to be the abandoned, old and forgotten in the corner.
L u n c h
I follow a swarm of people into the cafeteria, taking in the surroundings and noise, so much noise. Screams, laughs maybe even cries. I'm waved by the boys I still can't associated a name with, feeling a sense of uneasiness I start to drift in their direction.
There's more people I don't recognise, three more boys and four girls. All talking amongst themselves, laughing and pointing. Not at me but it always feels like me.
When I first saw you, walking over to the table in the middle of the cafeteria. A small piece of thread weaved through my body stitching me to the ground, pulling me in tight. My body unable to move. Nothing but the beating of my heart sounding against the inside of my chest, you were seen, you was not the middle. The pure entirety of love before I ever knew it...
"Who's that?" A voice sounds out my mouth. Half the people paying attention looked to me, then looked to her.
"That's lily"
