✓ | YOU AND I ( jenzie. )

chapter eleven ⦙ boys are confusing

february 19, 2020

john and i still haven't had a relationship, and i've been waiting for a year. if kissing three times and making out once in a friendship doesn't move onto a relationship, what's that supposed to mean?

maybe it wasn't even supposed to happen. maybe i wasn't supposed to swim with johnny. maybe i wasn't supposed to sleep over at the orlando's place. maybe i shouldn't have left the house at all.

all that johnny and i are now is just— friends?

and i don't even know if he likes me. why is he playing with my feelings and emotions? boys are confusing.

sadly, yet again, maddie and my mom have an excuse for me to stay with them. why can't i just stay with— the rumfallo's? the buckingham's? or the vertes family?

my mom has apparently planned out a whole day for us since she has to accompany my sister to some dancing competition that lasts for like an entire day, so they get to stay in a hotel. why can't i stay at a hotel too?

according to my mom's plan, this time, the orlando's are coming over. what a wonderful surprise!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ding dong!

i answered the door, revealing lauren and johnny.

"hi kenzie!" lauren spoke, hugging me quickly afterwards.

"hey john," i said.

"hi," he replied, smiling a little.

"while you lovebirds do that, i'm gonna settle in!" lauren said, pushing through us.

"we should probably get inside," i suggested, and he simply nodded in reply.

"what's our sleeping arrangements?" lauren asked.

"maddie and my mom's room are off limits. the only available rooms are the guest room and my room," i said, hands in my pockets.

"but heyyyy! lauren you should sleep in my room. john can stay in the guest room," i continued. suddenly, johnny comes up behind me, hugging me from the behind and says, "don't want to sleep with me, ziegler?"

"oh yes she does! i can't ruin that. don't worry, i'll stay in the guest room," lauren said and winked mischievously afterwards. great.

"but hey! before you guys have some alone time, we should watch a movie!" lauren exclaimed cheerfully.

"we've got the kissing booth, high school musical, and twilight! which do you want to see?" lauren said enthusiastic.

"why'd you bring all the lame movies? why not movies like die hard, pacific rim, or at least jumanji?" johnny complained.

"maybe it's cause she doesn't have the mind of a confusing boy who won't ask this other person out," i snapped.

"wow, kenz." he said, and i knew that look. he was disappointed with me.

"okay then— um, since no ones gonna choose i guess i will, and that movie is the kissing booth!" lauren said, trying to enlighten the mood, but it didn't help, johnny gave me his death glare like that time we had dinner together.

i thought it would stop, but it went on and on— even after the movie ended.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

i went up to my room, and sat on my bed. i sighed. abruptly, johnny came in without a knock.

"what kind of attitude was that?" he asked, loudly.

"my normal attitude." i respond.

"what do you mean lauren don't have the mind of a confusing boy who won't ask this other person out? what's that supposed to mean?" he asked yet again, enraged.

"why don't you know? isn't it obvious?" i asked, mad too.

"no! there's a reason why i'm asking!" he yelled.

"maybe it's because you kissed me, made out with me, flirted with me, and still haven't asked me out? what were all those signs? were you playing me? toying with my emotions? i actually liked you. i liked you ever since our first time in your pool, then you ditched me. you ditched me for sophia. you ditched me for hockey. you left me— you made me stay out of your way then one day you talked to me when you were drunk and tried to apologize? i went through so much pain, just because of you— and when i finally thought you were going to ask me out you never did. now i feel nothing for you— absolutely nothing." i lied.

"nothing, huh?" he asked. really?! after all my words, that's what come out of his mouth, nothing?!

"nothing but hatred. i hate you. loving someone isn't supposed to cause you this much pain," i said, looking away.

he got me by my chin, and lifted it up since i was looking down.

then he closed the gap in between us. he kissed me. again.

as much as i wanted him to stop i couldn't— it was what i wanted. what i had been longing for. but then i knew letting him get what he wanted all the time wasn't going to be good for me, i pushed him away.

"you can't do that all the time! i hate you! stop!" i screamed. he looked astonished and stunned, but then he looked mad, again.

"fine!" he yelled, and stormed out.

"fine!" i yelled back.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
A U T H O R ' S    N O T E
yikes!! also, the timeline is getting messed up, if we're being logical john's already 20 but i'm going to fix it soon, so for now please please please please please pretend they're teenagers!! i messed up haha! :)