Super Associated

On the Hook

While Chelsea played a song to 'kick start the show', I took the opportunity to berate her for bringing me on the show. I think I preferred the time she dragged me out for a night on the town and we ended up rushing home, grabbing our passports and hopping on a plane to Amsterdam. At least I was drunk enough to not know what was going on that evening. Tonight, however, I was stone cold sober and I was going to remember every horrific second of it in the morning. 

"Stop looking like a sourpuss, Romy," Chelsea laughs as she continues to create the playlist for her show. Despite working for a broadcasting company, I was not a fan of the music most of the stations in the parent group played, especially this new stuff that all sounded so generic and samey. No one actually makes music anymore. "We're just going to have a chat about our experiences in the modern dating world, take a few calls from listeners and then after the show, we'll go out and do some shots in that grotty pub just down the road."

"Can't we order shots in like you order pizza in?" I suggest. "That'll guarantee that I'll look less like a sourpuss."

Chelsea grinned but she said nothing. Leaning back in my chair, I folded my arms across my chest and watched as Chelsea got to work, introducing the topic a little more and inviting listeners to call in already. Within seconds, a girl- aged just seventeen- rang in to complain about the dating scene out there nowadays and how she's got countless dating apps on her phone and was sick and tired of swiping left and right, let alone up and bloody down. The girl, whose name I forgot, sounded like she was having a hell of a time trying to meet 'a lovely guy who I can get serious with.' 

"Get serious with?" I scoffed involuntarily. Up until now, I'd kept quiet as Chelsea interacted with her audience but when the teen started talking about 'settling down' with a boy, I couldn't sit here any longer and listed without giving her a wake-up call. "Oh, sweetie, at your age, you shouldn't be thinking about wanting a long-term boyfriend. To be honest, this is coming across as a little desperate."

Chelsea's eye widened and I could see Francis practically smashing his way through the window of the production room. "Uh, Romilly, you-"

"What? Is it!" I protested. Pulling the microphone closer to my lips, I speak to the nation. "I bet you're the kind of girl who goes in all guns blazing, pulling all the moves when really, you should be playing it cool. Drop enough hints and let them come to you."

"But that's-" The girl on the line started to say before she was rudely cut off by Chelsea. "I think that's completely stupid, Romy. I mean, you want her to keep a guy on the hook just so that they stay interested? You can't play a guy's emotions like that."

I shrug my shoulders. "I think you can do that. Men do it with us. We should, you know, repay in kind."

When the teenager started to tell me that I was wrong, I rolled my eyes and sat back in my chair, listening to Chelsea trying to smooth over the shitstorm I'd dumped in her lap. She sympathised with the girl and told her to wait for the right guy to come around because one day, he was going to come along and sweep her off her feet. 

It's that type of talk, along with Disney movies, that give girls unrealistic expectations of love and romance. Come on, a guy isn't waiting for you around the corner and even if he is, he's probably an arsehole because that's what men are like. Complete and utter arseholes. The sooner this girl realises that, the better; it'll save her so much heartache if someone had balls big enough to tell her that men aren't really worth it. Become a nun. Save yourself. 

"So, Romy, how long have you been keeping your man on the hook?" Chelsea suddenly asked, narrowing her hazel eyes on me. It was supposed to be intimidating but all I could think was,  damn, look at her freaking cheekbones. Who has cheekbones like that? Naturally?  "You're seeing this guy but you keep denying that you're dating, so enlighten us, oh wise one. What is so great about being with a guy but pretending that you're not seeing a guy?"

It was a low blow to bring this up on national radio, even more so when the guy I was keeping 'on the hook' was stood in the next room, watching me intensely, waiting for me to speak my mind. That's kinda when it dawns on me that I've been well and truly set up. This was either Chelsea's way of getting me to admit my non-existent feelings or it was Francis, trying to find out exactly where he stood with me and if it wasn't serious, he'll leave. 

I mean, Francis Aubert is a great guy. There's nothing I could complain about when it comes to him. In a clichéd kind of way, this wasn't about him, it was about me. That much is pretty clear from my attitude so far on Loose Lipped. I'm not the type of girl who likes to get caught up in a relationship because I don't feel like I need to be with someone in order to validate myself. Francis knew all this from the start; the first night we went out for drinks after work, when it was clear that he liked me, I told him that I had absolutely no interest in our dynamics becoming anything a) serious and b) permanent. 

Now, he's getting me to talk about my feelings on national radio? Well, if he wants to hear all about my feelings, strap yourself in, Francis, this might get a little bumpy.