Now flushing brightly in the evening sun, Tao huffs. “That’s so embarrassing! You say the most embarrassing things, gah!”
Kris finishes eating his snack and throws the stick into a trashcan next to them.
“So…”
“Yes?”
Tao nibbles on the end of his stick, cheeks still flushed. “What do I taste like to you then? I mean…assuming you can taste me and can’t taste anything else.”
“It is hard to describe.” Kris zips up Tao’s jacket; Tao slips his hands into Kris’ sweatshirt pockets.
“You can tell me,” Tao insists. “Who am I gonna tell anyway? Who wants to know what I taste like? No one.”
Kris smiles, lightly pulling on Tao’s empty food stick. “You taste warm and wet and always very…very nice. Ah, this is very hard to explain…”
Tao covers his face, “Okay! Okay! Forget I asked. Warm and wet...I don’t know what I’m doing with you. I don’t know why…” Tao sighs, dropping his hands from his face. “Whatever. I don’t care. I don’t have to know ‘why’ and I don’t think you would care to know either. Come closer.”
“But we are in public—“
“Hey, I’ve had too many people kiss in front of me in my life. I’m sure other people can deal with it like I did.”
‘Happiness’ is what Kris feels when Tao roughly pulls him into an empty corner of the street and kisses him.
A light, floating feeling originates in his chest cavity and spreads throughout his limbs. He has to hold onto Tao when he feels as if he’s going to float away and into the sky, even when his motherboard tells him it’s impossible. The feeling only doubles when Tao intertwines their fingers again, pulling back from the kiss to press his face into Kris’ chest. Tao stops then, ear pressed up against Kris’ chest.
“Oh,” he says. “That’s right. You don’t have a heart…but I can still hear something. It’s so…so weird.”
No.
“Tao,” Kris smiles, cupping his chin. Tao lets Kris kiss him again, hands still around Kris’ waist. Kris doesn’t want to hear how unhuman he is. He knows. He knows it too well but he doesn’t stop trying, for Tao and for himself.
Tao’s been doing so well, not mentioning Kris’ short comings and Kris is weak and imperfect because he can’t bear to hear them, not when he’s this happy.
He’s silenced Tao this time but he knows it won’t always be like this. The next time Tao brings him up, he has to face the cold, hard truth that his delusions of being human are just that. Delusions.
No matter how much he enjoys being with Tao, no matter how much he kisses Tao, holds him, talks to him, smiles at him…Kris will never be as human as Tao. And that’s alright, it’s fine. He
