doesn’t calm his processor down. Kris doesn’t want to stop but Tao’s cries hurt more than he ever thought anything could. Is this what humans have to face in their lifetimes? How is such a crushing sense of defeat and profound loss even possible?
Tao locks himself in all night. Kris waits in the living room for him to come out for the day, head in his hands. Even after all they have been through together, he’s not surprised Tao still feels the way he does.
A small part of Kris had hoped Tao would open his eyes, and his heart, and understand that Kris is real even if he isn’t human but Tao’s thinking has not swayed.
When he finally emerges, he refuses to look at Kris and doesn’t answer to his name. To Kris, who has known Tao can have his cold moments but has never been on the receiving end of such hostility, it hurts more than anything that happened the night before. He wants to hold Tao again and console him but Tao keeps his distance and goes off to school without a word. Distance is such a tricky thing. It seems impossible for two beings that live together and love each other to go a day without speaking but it happens. Kris waits for Tao to speak to him when he comes home, eyes on Tao’s downturned face.
Kris has said all he needs to and he’s made his feelings more than clear. If Tao loves him too, he doesn’t understand why there needs to be any confusion or resistance because they’re two people in love so they should just…hold each other. All Kris wants to hear is Tao’s very human heart beat in his ears lulling him into the perfect world. What Tao says first stops all other thoughts.
“I’m sending you back.”
Even Kris’ motherboard grinds to a halt. “Back? Back where?”
Tao clears his throat. “To…to wherever you came from. The Boyfriend Store, I think. I don’t think it’s right for me to…keep you.”
No.
“But—“
Tao cuts him off with a glare, “There’s nothing you can say that’ll make me change my mind and you’re not welcome to try. I hate myself for falling into the hype. I hate myself for dragging Baixian ge into it too and now…now he doesn’t even need me. He has him. He won’t even have him for long but does he care? No. He’s so fucking stupid.”
Baixian.
Even in the end, it’s always Baixian.
Even after they’ve kissed, even after they’ve told each other they’re in love, it still Baixian. Tao doesn’t want to love Kris; he wants Baixian. He always has and he always will.
Kris had been a fool and now, he knows it.
“Don’t look like that,” Tao says with red eyes. “I’m sure you’ll get a much better owner after me. Maybe someone who won’t mind that you’re not…someone who’ll like you just as you are.”
