Hey guys! Here are some jokes from Harry Potter that I found on the internet. I was bored and wasnt bothered writing a real chapter so I did this. I do NOT own these...or Harry Potter sadly.
1.Harry: Im sorry Volde. We cant do this anymore.
Voldemort: But why? I love you Harry!
Harry: Your face *looks away* its just so fucked up.
2. Draco: You filthy little Mudblood*smirks*
Me: At least Im no bleached blonde
Draco: *looks away tries to keep calm* no she didn't!
3. Twilight wins best movie award.
Draco: Wait till my father hears about this ( disgusted look)
4. Mcgonagall: Be careful Mr. Malfoy if you play with fire you're gonna get burned.
Draco: I dont think so. Im so flaming hot. Its the fire that will get burned. So True!!
5. Mcgonagall: This match has been cancelled.
Oliver: You cant do that!
Mcgonagall: *stern look* I do whatever the fuck I like.
6. Ron: Why spiders? Why couldn't it be follow the butterflies?
Me: Because Ron. This isnt Twilight.
7. Voldemort: *retarded face* I have you know Harry.
Harry: I still havent used the one weapon that for some reason no one uses
Vodemort: *confused look* Dafuq you talking about boy?
Harry: A gun *points gun at Voldemort and shoots*
Voldemort: *dies*
Me: (your probably wondering how I got here but hey Im awesome like that) Yay! Go Harry!
8. Voldemort: Nice wig Albus! Whats it made of?
Dumbledore: *shouts* Your mums chest hair!
9. Bella: I know what you are! *stares into space*
Edward: Say it out loud!
Snape: Glittering fairy princess *smirks*
10. You: 'I'm a wizard!'
Friend: 'Prove it.'
You:'Sorry, no magic outside Hogwarts!'
11. The sweet side to Voldemort.
I think its nice that Voldemort always waits until the end of the school year to try and kill Harry.
Despite his flaws Voldemort really cares about Harrys education!
12. A drunk encounter.
You: I wasn't that drunk.
Friend: Dude you were hugging an old man with a beard shouting 'DUMBLEDORE! YOU'RE ALIVE!'
13. Pinochios advice to Voldy.
Voldemort: So I just have to lie?
Pinochio: Yup
Ya guys know what I'm talking about?? If you don't its how Voldy here doesn't have a nose.
14. Cedric: Professor can you predict what ill be doing a few years drom now?
Prof. Trelawney: Of course, of course... *sees Edward Cullen sparkling*
OH dear boy the horror!
15. Cedric Diggory, charming, handsome, friendly... and yet the Twihards prefer him as some sparkling, antisocial rapist. I miss you Cedric!
16. I see you drivin' around town with the girl I love and I'm like...
My father will hear about this.
17. Friend: On a scale of 1-10 how obsessed are you with Harry Potter?
Me: 9 and 3/4
Friend: Did you jus-?
Me: Yes, yes I did.
Hope these gave you a laugh!
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Harry Potter vs Twilight
FanfictionHiii! This is my first book! Which is better Harry Potter or Twilight?I know which one I like. Do you? Please read it and let me know what you think. Anyhoos bye oh and dont forget to follow vote and comment!
