Flashback

Chapter 4

I reached home about 7 in the evening. Jeremy was sitting in the living room, watching TV. I put a smile on my face and went and sat down next to him. I love him. His face, his blond hair which curls in the ends and the way we sometimes say the exact things at the same time. He had proposed 2 months ago and I had accepted gracefully. Though we didn't plan to get married right away!

"So how was your day?" he asked. "It was fine. And by the way I plan to take a couple of days off" I said.

"Okay." That is another thing I like about him. He knows where to draw the line. He knew that if I had to tell him why I was taking an off, I would. He wouldn't have to ask.

"So what do you want tonight, pizza or Chinese?" I said.

"You".  And brought his lips down to mine.

Suddenly his phone rang.

"Shit" he said and tried to reach his phone. Seeing this I got off his lap.

"No, don't go" saying this he pulled me back beside him. "It's okay. I'll go and order food. And we will continue later" I said with a wink. He gave me a grin and picked up his phone.

I ordered the food and went for a shower. When I came out Jeremy was still on the phone. As I was looking for a pair of pajamas I came across my school yearbook. I started sifting through it, and was smiling to myself when suddenly I came across a page. I stared at it as if I had seen a ghost. On the page was a photo of Richard.

I was broken out of my spell when the bell rang. I got up put on a pair of pajamas and went to open the door.

 My good mood had been spoilt. I was feeling so much happier after talking to Isobel and kissing Jeremy. And all of it had crashed down in one moment. I didn't know if I loved him or hated him.

I sat down on the table to eat. Jeremy came and sat down next to me and started talking to me. But my mind was elsewhere. I left my meal unfinished and went up to bed thinking of turning in early.

But sleep was not gonna happen tonight. Jer came in a little later, he probably thought I was asleep, looked at me, gave a sigh and climbed in to bed. He dropped a kiss on my head and went off to sleep. A little later even I dropped off.

I spent the next two days in fear of what would happen when I went back to office. Isobel had told me to be strong and brave. But it is not that easy. I didn't know if I wanted to face him or not. It is like every time I look at him my brain stops working and I go into dreamy mode. This used to happen even in high school and even when we were dating. Well then, that now is a completely different story.