Beautiful Calamity

Back Then

Sean

It's been a few weeks since I last saw Alexa. She's suddenly disappeared.

I texted her several times, but I never received a reply. I tried to call her, but was always directed to voicemail. I asked Amy about her, and to my surprise, she only said, don't worry about it. So she obviously knew something that I didn't... almost like Alexa disappearing was something completely normal.

But it wasn't normal, not for me. What could've changed so suddenly? I never saw her anymore. Neither with Amy and Laurel, nor on campus. I actually tried to check the library she sometimes hung in on breaks, thinking that she has to be there, only to find myself disappointed when she wasn't.

I also went several times to check her work library, but she was never there... at least not in the five times I had visited.

Alexa had suddenly dissipated from view, and I missed her.

Alexa

It's that time of the year again. The time I dread the most. The time that robs me of any joy I feel.

I was almost always alone, hiding behind my dorm door, drowning in displeasure and depression. I skipped classes on daily basis. I called in sick for work, but my boss, knowing the real reason behind my disappearance, assured me that all was fine, and that I was sure to take all the time that I need.

Amy and Laurel knew better than to try and abet me. They knew I wanted to be left alone. They knew I didn't want them to partake in any kind of pity. Although they texted me regularly and tried to check up on me every once in a while, they didn't bother to go any further, because they know what a crippled and stubborn mess I am, and that I just won't budge.

Sean, who I thought would give up on me from the first week, happened to prove me very wrong. He sent me texts, that I dodged. He called, and I declined. Amy also told me he'd asked about me, a thing that aided in forcing a smile on my face, but as she told me the news, I dismissed it almost immediately and indifferently.

All in all, I just wanted to grieve alone. I wanted to mourn what I lost... whom I lost. Also, I wanted to mourn myself, and slowly drown in the unceasing heartache that anchored and sank me in disdain.

•••

September 1,
Saturday Morning

I planned on sleeping in before I wake up to a new episode of grieving, self-pity, and hate. Sadly though, some people just couldn't respect my schedule. I awoke from a deep slumber to the horrid sound of loud knocking.

I was still in a state of confusion whilst trying to leave my bed. My mouth was unpleasantly dry, by throat sore, and I was almost certain that I had disastrous bags of black under my eyes. Nevertheless, I rose to open the door.

I was greeted with beautiful emerald eyes, brown hair, and rosy lips. This wasn't the first time I'd wake to these distinct features. De ja vu much?

"Sean." I said, trying to seem as unexcited as possible.

"Alexa." he greeted with soft smile. "It's nice to know you're alive."

I raised my eyebrows, as if questioning his presence here.

"You haven't answered any of my texts and calls." he simply muttered.

"I was sleeping."

"For two consecutive weeks? That's highly unlikely." he teased.

"Well, then you obviously don't know me all that well." I sighed.