grayson pov
lets start off with this the right way i guess . hi , my name is grayson bailey dolan . i have a twin brother named ethan . i have a boyfriend named james . i love him . ethan has a girlfriend named emma . honestly , best thing a guy could ask for . to get to the point , im depressed . funny right ? how is a big ass youtube star depressed ? their life is great ... right ?
no its not . its not all about money and fame , its not all about love and lust . sometimes , life fucking sucks . i have anxiety attacks so much that i feel like im going to die or i want to commit suicide . my brother ethan doesnt even know about HALF the attacks ive had . i always have to hide myself i guess . faking love and happiness is hard . having a boyfriend who you see all the time is nice i admit , but having a brother whos distant because his dumbass girlfri- . let me stop there .
" hey gray , me and emma are going on a date , ill be back at 8 . okay ? " ethan informed me . i nodded my head and kept reading my book , which i rarely do because of my dyslexia , but i mean reading does help right ?
" whats wrong ? do you need me to stay home ? " he asked .
" nah e , have fun though , " i answered back to him . he shrugged his shoulders and walked out the door with his car keys . once i heard the car take off , i instantly headed to the bathroom .
i have an addiction . not like cigarettes or coke , but cutting . i always disinfect my blade before and after using it , so when i cut , i wont get infected . i took the sharp blade and pressed deeply in my skin , with lots of blood oozing out of my wrists . i did t more slits om my arm and wrapped it up with a bandage . i disinfected the blade amd walked out the bathroom .
i made dinner for myself and called james to see if he would like to come over but unfortanetly , he was busy . i mean , i get he works in the beauty industry , but its almost as if hes hiding something . i dont know , i dont worry about it too much , all this will end soon anyways .
it was about a quater till 8 but i heard e's car pull up . i unlocked the door so he could just walk in . but all i heard was screaming outside . his voice and emmas .
" what the fuck is going on ? " i asked concerned . they both looked at me , both teary eyed and furious . i opened the door wider and let them inside , so we can sit down and talk about whats going on .
" so again , for the second time , what happened ? " i asked nervously . emma looked up at me and ethan started rambling .
" first of all shes fucking cheating on me . i feel it . all she did was exchange eyes with this other dude the WHOLE time we were at Skabichi's Kitchen . i left and the other dude started making out with her . how do i know that ? I WAS IN HER FUCKING LIVING ROOM . THEY DIDNT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT I WAS RIGHT THERE . "
" ethan please calm down . you know we got dru-" emma tried to explain herself but ethan cut her off .
" EVERYTIME ITS ALWAYS " I GOT DRUNK " OR " I WASNT THINKING STRAIGHT " . IM NOT PUTTING UP WITH YOUR BULLSHIT . YOU KNOW WHAT , WERE DONE . DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT CONTACTING ME AGAIN . " he then stormed off to his room while emma was sitting there , balling her eyes out over the fact she had lost someone she loved .
" emma , i think its time for you to go . text me when you get ho- err , dont you need a ride ? " i questioned .
" yea but ill call an uber . thanks grayson . " she said with a light smile and a very faint voice .
" anytime , text me when you get home ok ? "
" yea gray , definetly . "
with that , she walked out the door and i just sat and thought . about alot . what the fuck am i gonna do ?
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hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter xx <3
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lost || g.b.d
Teen Fiction" he fell from the bridge , waiting to pursue his happiness "
