Oneshots · LJ, CC

Me and My Insecurities ✰ CC [15]

Type: Fluff

There she sat. On the balcony of her newly purchased beach home in Mexico, she sat in a chair with her fingers wrapped around a Pepsi can. Her back faced you, her eyes were fixated on the waves crashing against each other. She's always admired everything about the ocean, the sight never got boring to witness despite her living near beaches her whole life. The beach before her eyes was completely empty at the moment. No one from any of the other beach houses seemed to be enjoying the land, but Camila preferred it that way.

The quiet peace allowed her mind to settle down from anything that's out of this beach area. At this beach, she wasn't Camila Cabello. She wasn't a singer, she wasn't famous, she was just her. She didn't mind any of the things mentioned, though, all can be exhausting to her mind. She wiped the tear that escaped from her eye, letting the negative thought that came to mind take control of her. She sniffled, but not too loud loudly because she didn't want you to hear it from the bedroom, except you heard everything.

You were laying in bed with your eyes on the Cuban outside. You told her you were taking a nap, however, hearing her try to quietly cry made your heart crumble a little. You had a feeling you knew why she was crying. Earlier this month, something in Camila shut off her happiness and confidence like a light switch. 

You couldn't tell if you did anything wrong to upset her but then again, it didn't make sense because she never led you to believe she was upset with you or she has never denied any sort of affection. In fact, since visiting the beach house last Friday and now it's Wednesday, you two have had sex a lot more often than you two normally do whilst not on vacation. Over the last few days, you could tell there was something wrong with Camila by her recent actions. When you can get her mind off things, that's when it's best for her not to think about what's been bothering her, but as soon as the two of you are cuddling or watching TV, or any time or place she can get lost in her thoughts, she gets very silent. After she becomes silent and you attempt to speak to her, she replies with short answers. 

You don't want to blame yourself and only think about yourself, but there are not really many people who could've told something negative to Camila. She's been in the studio nonstop with the same two producers and writers, you doubt they would ever say anything bad to the cute brunette. However, then came the internet. People were nasty and cruel, but Camila has never been one to let a hate comment snatch her happiness. You felt helpless, but you decided it was no option to not help her.

Once you saw Camila stand up from her chair, you rushed to put the blanket over your body and lay the opposite direction of your girlfriend. You heard the sliding glass door open and you could sense how gentle Camila was trying to be. She closed it behind her, tip-toeing to her side of the bed. She carefully set her soda down on the nightstand before climbing into bed beside you. 

The white bikini she was wearing hid under her grey sweatshirt that was unzipped, so it was revealing the bikini. She noticed your eyes shut as you continued to pretend you're asleep but luckily, your girlfriend was oblivious to see right through your acting. You considered taking the title of being a great actress.

A few moments later of you accepting that title, you heard Camila speak ever so softly, "You are so perfect, do I even deserve you?" she let go of a breath she had been holding. 

It took all of the efforts in you to not open your eyes and try to convince Camila otherwise. Why is she thinking this way? You asked yourself. If it was anybody that didn't deserve anybody, it was that you felt like you didn't deserve Camila. She thinks you're perfect? You believe she is! You have no idea why she chose you or why she's questioning if she deserves you.

"I love you, Y/N, you are everything I could ever ask for." She continued, speaking at the same level she did before. She planted a loving kiss on your cheek, accidentally releasing a smooching noise. You thought this was the best opportunity to pretend as if you were waking up from your nap. Camila cursed at herself when she saw your eyes flutter open, you stretched like you needed it after an hour-long nap.