Adelena | 18+

Adelena | 4

The week had gone smoothly just as I had wanted it to. True to my word, I kept my head down and tried my hardest not to get into trouble with Charlie. However, the pregnancy test that I bought burned in my mind. It was already Thursday and I hadn't found the words or the confidence I needed to talk to my mother. I shouldn't have bought the test. I shouldn't have listened to those ladies and their gossiping. But how could I not when it involved my mother?

I had just gotten back from Women's Group. That was where all of the women in The Church met with Charlie to discuss the women's role in The Church. Immediately following Women's Group was Men's Group, so Charlie was still out of the dwelling by the time I returned. 

"Adelena? Is that you?"

My mother called out to me from her room. The moment and time suddenly weighed heavier on my shoulders. With Charlie out of the house, now would be the perfect time to talk to my mother about the rumors floating around and my recent purchase. 

I called back to her as I ran up the stairs to my room. "Yes, it's me. I'll be back down in a second."

I raced to my room and dug through my closet to find where I had hastily through the little pink box. My hands sifted through my clothes until I felt the cool, smooth, touch of the paper box. I held it in both of my hands as I stood to my full height. I heard my mother calling me again, so I began to walk back downstairs. I walked slowly as if the box was holding me back. I made my way to the room she shared with Charlie while moving the pregnancy test to a hiding place behind my back. 

My mother sat up in bed, still dressed in the bathrobe she was in when I had left this morning. She looked at me when I entered with an ignorant smile on her face. I felt bad feeling the need to confront her with the possibility of her being pregnant, but I had an obligation to my mother to tell her what I suspected. 

"Hi, Mom. How was your day?"

Her smile got a little sadder. "It was okay. It was just a little lonely sitting here by myself in this empty house."

I moved to sit on the edge on the bed with the pregnancy test still safely hidden behind my back. "I'm sorry. But I'm back now. And Charlie said that I don't have to work in the garden today so I can stay with you for the rest of the day."

She sweetly covered my hand with hers. "I would like that."

We sat in silence for a few moments. I'm sure she was comfortable with the silence, but I grew more and more anxious as the seconds ticked by. I cleared my throat, readying my voice for what I was about to say. "Mom... there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

She looked at me with a puzzled look. "Go ahead, honey. You know you can tell me anything."

I brought my hand from behind my back and placed it in my lap, revealing the pregnancy test I was holding. My eyes stayed locked to the box as I could not bring myself to look at her and face her reaction. I open my mouth and begin to say as many words as I could to communicate why I was holding the pregnancy test. "I heard a few ladies talking about how you might not be sick and how you might be pregnant instead so I bought this when I went into town on Monday for you because I wanted you to know for sure and I didn't want you to be worried that you're still sick and never getting better so I--" 

I stopped when I heard her start to laugh. I had prepared for a number of scenarios. I was ready for her to be mad that I went behind her back and used extra money to buy it since it wasn't cheap. I was ready for her to be angry that I brought back a piece of modern technology. I was ready for her to be surprised that I would jump to this conclusion and assume that she was pregnant. I was even ready for her to be disappointed that I fell prey to the sin of gossiping and listened while the other ladies talked. The one thing I wasn't prepared for was for her to start laughing. I couldn't possibly imagine what she was laughing about. 

"I don't understand, Mom. Why are you laughing?"

She looked back at me with a large smile on her face. "Honey, I already know that I'm pregnant."

Now I was more confused than I was before. "What do you mean 'you already know?' You never said anything about being pregnant. You said that you were sick. That you had food poisoning or something. Why would you lie like that?"

I was growing more frustrated as I talked. If she knew she was pregnant, why would she have us all worrying about her? "Well I thought I was sick at first, but as time went by I came to realize that I wasn't sick at all. I was just pregnant. I'm sorry if I worried you, honey."

"Well, you did. I was so scared because it didn't seem like you were ever going to get better."

She pulled me closer to her so that I was no longer sitting on the edge of the bed, but instead was completely on the bed sitting right next to her. "I'm sorry, Adelena. You must've been extremely worried about me to buy a pregnancy test."

"Does Charlie know?"

She laughed quietly to herself. "No, he doesn't know quite yet. I will tell him soon, but until then I want this to remain between us. Is that okay?"

I nodded my head. That was an easy task for me as I didn't tell Charlie anything he didn't ask about. So her secret was safe with me. 

"You're going to have to hide this so that Charlie doesn't see. I don't want Charlie finding this so hide it somewhere he would never look."

I nodded my head, suddenly feeling silly with the box in my hands. I wasn't mad at her for not telling me sooner, but I would have liked to know before I was harassed by those boys in the store. I stood up to go look for a hiding spot for the pregnancy test. However, as I approached the door, my mother called out to me again.

"Oh, Adelena, I just remembered something else. I'm going back to work in the sanctuary tomorrow, so you're going to begin working with me."

I turned back around so quickly that I made my own head spin. "Mom, are you really going make me work in the sanctuary with you. You know how much I like the garden."

"I do know how much you like working in the garden and that is why you're going to work with me in the sanctuary."

I sighed at her response. Talking to my mom is just like talking to Charlie because she repeats everything he says. "Mom that's not fair and you know it. Besides only married women work in the sanctuary."

"Well, maybe you're getting married soon."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?!" I couldn't help but to snap at my mom. I wanted her to help me out, but she seemed uninterested in my distress."

"Calm down, Adelena. Everything happens for a reason. I don't assign jobs. Charlie does. And Charlie's words are--"

I had heard this phrase enough to finish it myself. "God speaking through Charlie. I know. But don't you think that he could be wrong? Just this once?"

Now it was her turn to be confused. "I don't know where this is coming from, Adelena, but I don't like it."

I knew I was acting out, but I didn't know how else to get her to listen, to really listen to me. "Well, I don't like how I'm being forced to do something I don't want to do. I don't like how I can't work in the garden because I like working in the garden."

My mother looked angry. This isn't a side of her that I see often, so the confidence I had quickly dissipated simply by looking at the fire in her eyes. "First, you're not being forced to do anything. God is calling you to work in the sanctuary. And second, you know what Charlie says is final. I don't want to hear you complain about this again."

Tears burned in my eyes. It was the ultimate betrayal for me. Typically my mother would try to defend me and then get steamrolled by Charlie, but I've never seen completely take his side against me so vehemently before. I turned back and walked back to the door. As I closed the door behind me I heard my mother say one last thing. 

"I never want to hear to question Charlie again, Adelena."

I closed the door harder than I initially intended to and ran to my room. I flopped down on my bed and sobbed into my pillows. The Church was supposed to be a community of believers. It was supposed to feel like a huge family, but I've never felt more alone.