Secrets, Lies,and Love

Chapter 16

Alex's POV

"Thomas..." I sigh as I try to shake Thomas awake again, I turn around for five seconds and catch him asleep on the couch again. Thomas groans and puts a hand over his eyes. He mumbles something I can't make out and looks up at me." Come on, we have to go to work."

His eyes open and he looks up at me in fear. I can see the doubt and fear working the gears in his brain, trying to put a halt to everything. He shook his head slowly and sit up. His arms wrap around me tightly and buries his face into my chest. I smile and rest my hand in his hair, running my hair through knots slowly.

"Please don't make me go." He shakes his head and slowly stands up looking at me with fear in his eyes." I can't see you hurt Alexander." I smile softly and press a kiss to his lips.

"It's going to be okay, I promise. I'm not going to leave your side." I give him a reassuring smile. He nods slowly but his eyes are uncertain.

"Alright babes," He smiles and kisses my knuckles." I'll be right by your side too." I cock my head with a smirk and hold out my pinky.

"Pinky promise?" I ask with a chuckle, he rolls his eyes and wraps our pinkies together.

"I pinky promise you nerd." I laugh and shake my head.

"How about we get some food and hit the road?" He nods and grabs a bag, shoving a few odds and ends of food into the bag. Within fifteen minutes we arrive at the office.

It's like a graveyard in there.

As we walk to our office I notice that the office is dead silent. Everyone looks grave and on edge, they're still trying to replace the lost files. It's been a long week. Angelica looks at me and smiles, nodding. Her gaze falls on Thomas and expression hardens, her eyes scan him up and down and she huffs.

"What's wrong Angie?"I ask as she looks through her arm full of paperwork.

"Peggy is going to kill you." Angie shakes her head. Thomas' expression falls and eyebrows screw up. He truly looks ill, maybe the break would've been good for him.

"Why?" No one says anything, I turn towards Thomas and cock an eyebrow." Thomas Jefferson what did you do?" He opens his mouth to protest but Peggy beats him to it.

"He told his father that were dating." She seethes, her eyes are on fire.

"What?" I hiss and look at him, he looks at Peggy and licks his lips.

"I called my dad the other night and he asked why I wasn't home with them since my sister..." He draws a shaky breath." He know how he feels about guys liking guys so I... lied and said the first name that came to mind."

"Who cares what your father thinks." I huff." It's not cool too hide shit like us from your family. "

"I can't lose my family Alex." His expression goes as cold as steel." I already caused my sister, I can't lose everyone else.

"They're not your family if they don't like you for you!" I laugh." They should love you no matter what."

"Well you know what," Thomas growls."They don't. They won't love me for who I love, I'm sorry that's not how they feel." I can feel his walls slam up as he stalks away, turning into our room .

"How Ben ever stayed with that man as long as he did I will never understand." Angelica shakes her head and sighs.

"He was a brave one." Peggy nods. "You're just dumb for this."I sigh and shrug as I look down the hall.

"I don't even know if I love him." I lean against the wall.

"What?" Angelica looks at me, eyes wide.

" He's said that he loves me, I know he means. But I don't know if I mean it. We fight half the time and it feels like we're constantly butting heads. Yeah,he's not bad to look but I don't... know I love him. I think I do. But I really like John too."

" Alex you shouldn't be with him if you don't know if you love him. At that point you're just deceiving him."Peggy frowns. " I think he's already had enough heartache. "

"I thought you and John were done?" Angelica cocks her head.

"We were. Then I started dating in the agency again and it felt unfair to John."I rub my face and sigh.

" Well,either break it off with Thomas and go to John, or stay with Thomas and figure it out." Angelica sighs and walks too her office who's quickly trailed by Peggy.

I sigh and enter our office. Thomas is staring at me,his expression stoic.

"What?" I ask as I set my stuff on the table.

"Is that how you truly feel?" He asks softly, I almost don't hear it . I look at him and blink, what's he talking about?" If you don't want to date me you don't have too." Oh. O h n o.

"Thomas..." I sit next to him. His expression doesn't change.

"Is that how you really feel?" He asks again.

"I don't know how I feel. "I sigh and rub my face. He looks at his computer and he's silent for a few minutes .

"You don't have to be with me." He says softly. I nod slowly.

"I know." He stares at me and blinks before looking away.

"Then why are you still with me?" He asks slightly louder." Why not with John?"

"I..." I open my mouth too answer. " I don't know. I think I love you. I think you're really nice and kind and..."

"Good to look at?" He scoffs.I close my eyes and lean forward.

"Please Thomas," I take his hand in mine. His expression softens and eyes don't seem as intense, his shoulders sink and sighs.

"We're not doing anything sexual until you're sure. " His eyes meet mine. I nod and hug him tightly, thank God he hugs me back. His face buries into my neck and I rub his back. I press a kiss to his lips and he leans into it, hugging me tighter.

"Thank you Thomas."

"You're welcome babes. "