Prove It [Undergoing Construction]

Chapter 33

 LONG CHAPTER YAY! MORE TWISTS.... COMING YOUR WAY...... o.O

BTW first fan art on the side!!!>>>> completed by @purple-rose-lover

Chapter 33

(NOT EDITED)

Day five? To be honest I can’t remember. I re-live the horrors every hour, all the nightmares; I’ve been having only increase over time. So I decided to stay awake. It was deep exhaustion. Waking up at night in a state of alarm, soaked with sweat from intense dreams, with thick clamminess dreams, stay with you throughout the long days.

I took deep breaths, and stopped crying, Luke came in here two hours ago to give me a sleeping pill, which I pretended to swallow, but I hid it under my tongue and spat it out later, he looked restless. Of course because of me. I was finally losing it. Last night I somehow ended up sitting under the cold shower, fully dressed.

I wanted to stay awake. I was so cold, but it felt good at the same time, I didn’t realize how long I stayed there, until Luke burst in, the bathroom. He looked at me with wide eyes, before running over twisting the knobs shut, I complained, but felt too numb, to fight.

He looked pissed, or maybe hurt, who knows I can’t tell the difference anymore. He lectured me softly, while I zoned out when I snapped back, he muttered, I just want you to be happy. His words made a fresh river of tears tumble down my cheeks.

I’m tired of crying.

I’m tired of yelling.

I’m tired of being sad.

I’m tired of pretending.

I walked out of my room, sneakily walking to the bathroom, not knowing what I was doing, I lost control of everything, and something dragged me to the bathroom. Every step, the echoing words of my father quietened down.

I looked at the mirror, right above the sink. Someone looked back right at me, but I couldn’t tell who she was, I could’ve sworn she looks familiar. Who is she? While I tilted my head from side to side, I realized that the mirror was slightly opened. My hands reached out, unconsciously and I pulled the mirror open.

‘It’s treasure… take it… you’re worthless piece of crap… make everyone happy’ My dad’s voice echoed. ‘Everything is your fault.’

I’m tired of being crazy.

I’m tired of needing help.

I’m tired of being different.

I’m tired of missing people.

I’m tired of remembering.

My eyes, wondered over the context of the secret cupboard. I grabbed the bottle of pain killers, for killer, I’m a killer, and I’ll finally finish this. I pulled out a pill. I looked at the smooth cylinder shaped, pill, looked so little harmless, on its own, the transparent colour, only makes them look better.

Luke left. Second.

Kai left. Third.

I’m tired of feeling worthless.

I’m tired of feeling empty inside.

Mum left. Fourth.

 Bruce left. Fifth.

 Dad left. Sixth.

I’m tired of wishing for things to come back that is impossible.

The tree burnt down. Seventh.

But most of all I’m tired of being tired. Nothing gets better, it’s the end.

Right now, I really don’t see the reason for trying, or for talking, or for breathing, I’m just done.