Prove It [Undergoing Construction]

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

(NOT EDITED)

I tried to act as normal as I could for the past two days, it was so hard.

Too hard.

Especially trying to convince not only Luke however both Blade and Luke. It was annoying too they wouldn’t leave my side, as if expecting me to commit a huge crime. At one point, Luke was about to burst into the bathroom because I took two minutes more than necessary. Like seriously what the hell?

Today I felt too moody, too on edge. I felt like I was being watched, every little noise made me jump. I need to seriously stop mopping around, and I need some space. So I got out of the bathroom and rushed to my room instead of the living room where they sat. Before either Blade or Luke suspect anything I shut and locked the door, just in case.

I inhaled deeply trying to keep my cool. I opened the window allowing the cool breeze to dance against my skin, leaving soft and cool kisses against my face, neck and arms. I sat on the sill, just wondering. If Kai was still alive what would I be doing now?

I looked up and out at the sinking sun. The colours making my heart warm, but the breeze making me shudder, I wrapped my hands around my torso. Kai, I miss you. You were the reason for my happiness in all my dark times.

You’re the reason I’m here, with Luke. You’re the reason I’m alive. I, on the other hand am the reason you’re dead.

It was my fault.

Everything is my fault.

My eyes blurred, as I felt the first tear fall out.

I need to do something. I can’t just sit around and mop, I need to fix things.

I need to suck it up, it’s life.

When was my life so happy and covered in pixie dust? It was never rainbows and unicorns, maybe in the beginning. But I dropped into the pot at the end of the rainbow. No gold. But a deep dark hole. That enveloped me and restricted me from my happiness.

He pushed me down further and further. Luke was slowly trying to pull me out but when he left he let go of the rope and I fell back down, deeper than ever. My dad stood over the edge with a grin. Then Kai almost pulled me out. He made me laugh, cry, smile, sometime he made me do all three. He made me feel something. He made me feel special. He showed me, who I really am.

Mum, did stand in the shadow, behind him all the time, which was really annoying. But one could not let her courage pass, her determination. Her love. She was protecting us all along. I hate how I have to refer to her as was, like the past. I love her. She took care of us, until I was six, before she started drifting, before she transformed, before she was tugged by her ropes by him. He was controlling her. But she showed him in the end.

In the end.

She’s gone.

Along with my best friend.

Both gone.

They’re gone.

Bruce tried to make me stronger, his approach was to help myself, to climb the walls, it worked a little, I mean I stood up for myself at school? That was something that I would have never done if it wasn’t for Bruce.

Grace. Grace I’m sorry, I haven’t forgotten about you, I’ll see you soon when I’ve collected myself. I don’t want you to stress out. You were always like a second mother. You nursed me and treated me like one of your own. Thank you for that. It meant a lot. Stay strong Grace. I need to talk to her.