Never let me go

1

15 years earlier

James

I wake up in the morning with my alarm clock ringing and this sound is absolute torture. It's the first day of school after summer holidays and just the thought of going back to that hell makes me wanna stab myself. Not only because of the boring classes and teachers with lack of sex but also because I'm gonna have to convive with my group of what most people would call "friends", again. I don't like any of them, they are the definition of assholes, but oh well, I guess around them I end up acting like a total asshole too, so maybe I'm no better than them.

When we were fourteen, my alleged best friend, Caleb, had the wonderful idea of playing a game. There was a new girl in school, she was only thirteen back then, just a kid, still so pure, still so innocent... Her name was Claire, she had deep blue eyes, almost as deep as the ocean, really light blonde hair and an accent hardly forgettable. Caleb said he would give 50$ to the first one among us who could take her to bed, that person ended up being me. I don't know why I did it, I could've just had left her to one of my friends, but somehow, by being the one I thought I was protecting her from them. So I started getting closer to her, knowing her, telling her how special she was, making her fall deeply in love with me... I made her believe she was ready to lose her virginity, I made her believe that would be the biggest proof of our "love". When I finished doing it, when I finished ruining her, I simply left her there, as a meaningless object, as if she had no value to me. I remember how much she was crying, begging me to stay, begging me not to leave her... But I did it anyway, I abandoned and embarrassed her for 50$. It wasn't for the money at all, and deep down I know it wasn't simply to protect her, I did it because a part of me wants to make people suffer, suffer like I did, suffer like I still do... A part of me, a really big part of me, is selfish and cold. From that moment, the games kept going, every single year we pick a new girl, so this year it won't be any different. I won the games most of times and I just got used to it, got used to lie and fool naive girls, got used to sleep with anyone who crosses my path, as if it was no big deal.

I dress up and walk downstairs to have breakfast. My cousin, Sam, is already sitting at the kitchen table when I get in.

-Morning - I say as I fill a bowl with milk and cereal and sit down next to him.

-Good morning - he replies and keeps eating.

Sam has always been like an older brother to me, only one year older but still extremely supportive and protective.

-I wonder who they will pick this year. - I tell him, and he obviously instantly understands what I'm talking about.

-Probably a new girl, as usual. I'm betting on a 10th grade one.

I nod, sigh and let go of a simple:

-Yeah - it comes out in a whisper and I'm not so sure if he heard me, but it doesn't really make any difference in the end.

When we leave the house it's really hot outside and the sun burns our heads as we walk through our neighborhood, towards school. I've always loved the silence and calm of this neighborhood, everyone knows each other and I just feel really safe here for some reason.

My group of friends surrounds me as soon as I reach the imposing building of our school.

-James! - Caleb greets me, tapping my back as a creepy malevolent smile shows up on his face. -We've already done our research for this year and I think we found the perfect prey.

His index finger discretely points to a girl a couple meters away from us and I can't avoid admiring her for longer than I probably should. She is absolutely gorgeous, her face is covered with an irregular wave of freckles, her dark curls wildly fall over her shoulders as a waterfall and her green eyes transmit how lost and confused she is. I keep staring at her, captivated, as if there was something angelic about her, until Caleb's voice brings me back to reality:

-Her name is Katherine Austen, she is 15 and her family just moved to the neighborhood. She doesn't know anyone here. What do you say?

My lips slowly curve into a tiny smile, in that moment I decide I need to win the game this year as well, I want this girl in so many different ways.

-I think she is a great choice. Now if you excuse me, gentlemen. - I pass through them and approach Katherine, I need to start getting advantage.

I'm right in front of her but she seems so focused in reading the schedule in her hands that she doesn't even seem to notice my presence.

-Excuse me Miss, are you lost?- I ask, gifting her with one of my seductive smiles.