Layers [Poetry]

A Spine Among Flowers

The sense of not belonging, I know it too well

I should get used to it, but one's heart can only take so much

And it hurts, over and over again

To feed on their judgment is getting me fatter

With emotions I do not wish to carry any longer

For it's ruining my health, physically and mentally

And it's blurring my vision, I see no way out

I do not wish to be changed, molded 

Into something I may not be able to interpret

But the sense of acceptance I was promised years ago

Is nothing but a lie grown-ups told me for comfort

I haven't felt comfortable in so long...

But to be a spine among beautiful crimson flowers

You need to smile every time, at every compliment they are given

And pretend you don't want to cry

And rip your eyes out because it's never you

Every brilliant remedy has a side effect 

And every side effect is you, no matter what

Bu you make a lot of effort and smile

Crying is for the weak

Leave the crying process for 2 a.m.

When friends won't say you're overreacting

When family won't call you a cry baby

When strangers won't pretend they don't see you crying

Leave it for when you're home and everyone's asleep

No one can hear or judge you

And if you tell me I'll have to pluck my skin

Every opportunity I get, to belong

I won't do it

My values are worth more 

Than any attempt at my dignity.