Mystery's Book of Awoken Bullshit

(Oneshot) These Jokes Aren't Punny

(Cover art by Mocha-Munch)

It's been a while since I've posted anything here. I've been working on Time Shock mostly and not as many oneshots. However, my friends and I planned and wrote a bunch of scripts together a while ago, which were suppose to be part of an animation project that got scrapped due to a lack of time and resources. We figured that we'd release them here instead of letting them sit in our Google drive and collect dust. You may have read this one, as I posted it once before, but if not, enjoy! It's written by PixieStarr and it introduces Mystery's partner in (anti)crime, Cold Case (or CC for short). Eventually, I'm going to write about how they first met, but for now we have this. Here we get a look at the daily life of the two of them at work... It's interesting.

Without further ado, I present...

These Jokes Aren't Punny: An Awoken Short

(TITLECARD: MONDAY)

(We are inside the police station. Mystery is sitting at one of the cubicle's desk, creating a tower out of office supplies that really defies all know laws of gravity and aviation. She's bored. Very, very, bored.)

CC: Mystery!

(She yelps in shock, as Cold Case jumps out at the entrance of the cubicle. In her shock, she knocks over her tower. She is not amused.)

Myst: CC! What the actual buck?!

CC: We got a new case!

(Myst doesn't care. She's concerned about the ruins of her once great structure.)

CC: (Trotting on the spot) Come on!

Myst: Fine. Fine. What's the case?

CC: (Clearly excited to tell her) A thousand dogs were stolen from a pet shop a couple of hours ago. We have no leads.

(It takes a minute for Myst to realise what he actually said. When CC knows that she understands, a wide grin spreads across his face.)

Myst: Five seconds.

CC: Huh?

Myst: You have five seconds to get your ass to the bucking car before I kick it there.

(CC looks horrified and without a second thought, he skids off in the other direction.)

Myst: One day, the puns will get too much. And on that day, I will exact my revenge.

(The scene cuts to outside a pet store. The store is closed off with yellow police tape and there are other officers scattered around the area.)

CC: (Looking at Myst) This is a ruff one isn't it?

Myst: Shut up, CC.

CC: That's a paw show of co-operation isn't it? I'm your partner! It's a dog eat dog world out there, and we've got to stand together to-

Myst: Shut UP CC!

CC: I was just trying to lighten the mood. It was the leash I could do.

Myst: I'm so done with you.

(TITLECARD: TUESDAY)

(Myst is once again making a tower, but this time it has a very steady foundation.)