Mystery's Book of Awoken Bullshit

(Oneshot) Just Out Of Reach

I got the idea for this oneshot while browsing a prompt sight. The prompt was "imagine your character trying to bribe their way out of a fine", and hence this was formed. These oneshots are turning out to be incredibly short, this one's not even 1000 words. Ah well. I really don't know what I was doing with this, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless.

~~~

"I'm telling you Amber, this thing is going to be super rad. I've almost got enough money for it too, I can almost taste it, all 609.99 bits of it!" Glaze marveled excitedly.

"I don't think it's a good idea to taste an instrument," Amber chuckled, leaning back against the car seat. "It wouldn't taste very good."

"Oh, you don't even get it! I've been saving up for this keytar for months and now it's actually going to be in my house, all shiny and red and impressive!" He clasped his hooves together. "I can't wait."

"How much have you got saved up?"

He thought for a moment. "After paying the electricity bill for this month, I should have about 550 bits in my account, so I'm almost there. As long as nothing sets me back, that is... Though it's pretty unlikely. I've been good with money for the past few months."

Amber raised an eyebrow at him, an amused expression playing on her face. "Oh, well I guess I should tell you at some point that there's a police car behind us with its lights flashing. That's probably important. And could possibly be a set back."

"What?!" Glaze looked up at his rear view mirror to see the red and blue strobes behind him. "How long has that been there?! Amber! Why don't you tell me these things!" He growled and pulled over to the side of the road, the police car pulling up behind him.

He nervously searched though his saddlebag for his driver's license. "Oh, goddamnit, what did I do now?! I can't get a ticket, I'm so close... Oh, maybe I can convince Myst to pay it for me... "

"Convince me to what?"

His head snapped up to look at the uniformed mare that was standing at his window. "Oh man, Mystery, am I ever glad to see you. Thank Celestia, I thought I was actually in trouble-"

"You were going 20 over the speed limit." Mystery held her hoof out. "License please."

Glaze stared at her for a long second. "... Eh??"

"You were speeding. You're getting a speeding ticket, dumbass," she repeated.

"I... Wha? You're charging me?!"

"Uhm, Duh. You were speeding," she said nonchalantly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"It was 60 though, and I was going 60!"

"No, it was 40, and you were going 60. Obviously you weren't paying attention to the signs, this is a school zone."

He opened his mouth to reply, then closed it again, knowing full well that she knew the speed limits in town better than him. He hadn't really been paying attention to his driving while he had been busy ranting about how amazing his new keytar would be. "But... But... Can't you just... Let me go? Just the once?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Why would I do that?"

"Cause... Cause... You're a nice pony?"

She shook her head and sighed, scribbling down something on her notepad. "You broke a traffic law, Glaze. I'm obligated to give you a ticket, if I spare you just cause I know you, I could get fired."

"I... Uhm, well you see, I was actually on my way to a very important... Thing, and I really didn't want to be late for it-"

Mystery rolled her eyes and gestured for Glaze hand over his license. In the passenger seat, Amber giggled.

"But... But..." He slowly held out the card. "... I'll pay for dinner...?"

"You always pay for dinner," she said without looking up.

"Well... If you charge me I won't be able to...?"

"Kay. I get my paycheck today anyways. It's about time I treat you for once." She ripped the paper off her notepad and handed it to him. "Here you go. Don't let me catch you speeding again."

Glaze took the ticket and studied it quickly, his mouth dropping open. "220 bits?! Myst..."

"I charged you for 19 when you were going 20 over. Consider yourself lucky," she grinned.

"But... But... My keytar-"

"-is going to have to wait. See you in court."

She tipped her hat, the shiny badge glinting in the sunlight, then retreated back to her own vehicle, leaving Glaze speechless. He looked over at Amber, who was covering her mouth to prevent herself from laughing.

He let of a sigh of disbelief and smacked his hoof against his forehead. "For buck's sake..."

He could already see his shiny new keytar fading into the distance, even further out of reach.