endless goodbyes. (discontinued)

Chapter 2

      Noah was going to be here on Sunday afternoon. It was now Wednesday and here I was, under the covers, freaking out about what I was going to say to Noah when I went with June to pick him up.

Should I give him a friendly hug? Should I kiss him? Should I jump into his arms and profess my love to him?

The last one was a little too much, even for me. But still, what was I going to do? I didn't even know if we were still together.

It was 6:00 am. Normally I wouldn't wake up this early, but I couldn't stop thinking about Noah. Not only Noah, but also Lee.

I didn't know if Lee was actually okay with me and Noah's relationship. We didn't really hang out until Noah left. It's possible that he wanted to give me and Noah time together, but I don't know.

To pull me from my thoughts, I heard a knock at my door.

"Elle?" My dad called. I rolled my eyes. It was too early for this.

"Yes, dad?" I turned to my side as he walked in. He sat on my bed.

"Did you get any sleep at all?" He asked placing a hand on my leg.

I breathed in, "Like, three hours."

He nodded his head, "Well, June called me," he took his hand off of my thigh, "I guess Noah's visiting."

He looked away from me. I could see the disapproval and disappointment in his eyes. I know he wanted to be happy for me finally having a relationship, but it's not like Noah's reputation had been a secret.

"Yeah," I paused, "Can I go pick him up from the airport with June?"

It's not like I had to ask. This was just my way of letting him know, I guess.

"Of course, Elle," he nodded, "I'm sorry if it seems like I'm not okay with you liking him, but can you blame me? Maybe he's changed, I don't know. But I just want you to be careful. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Dad, seriously. I'm fine and I will always be fine," I sat up, "You don't have to worry about me."

"Alright," he stood off the bed and placed a hand on the door knob, "Do you want breakfast?"

I smiled and nodded. He left the room. My smile turned into a frown. I wasn't lying. I thought I was always going to be fine, but I honestly didn't know if that was the truth. If Noah had found another girl in Harvard, I would probably be broken.

I loved him. I just wanted to make that clear to him. Even if he didn't feel the same. I wanted him to know.

I climbed out of bed, finally, and decided to shower. I'd hoped that would clear my mind.

It didn't. I literally could only think about Noah, and how I felt when I would kiss him. It would feel like we were the only two people in the world. I felt warm and fuzzy inside. There were fireworks every single time.

I felt safe in his arms, like nothing could harm me. I felt protected. I only wanted to be with him. I was just so afraid that he didn't want to be with me.

I got ready for the day and ate my breakfast. I had a conversation with my dad. He basically just gave me a lecture about growing up and having my own life, since I was moving out soon.

I wasn't moving across the country like Noah. Or going a couple states over like Lee. I was going to a community college so I could be close to home. But still, I'm a little irresponsible when it comes to doing things on my own, so I appreciated the daily lectures.

   It was now 10:00 AM and I was ready for a nap. However, when I was about to crash, Lee called me.

    "Lee...hey," I answered, a tired flare in my voice. I was just about to doze off, so of course I was going to sound exhausted.

     "Hey," there was a brief pause, "So...Um, I guess Noah's coming tomorrow instead of Sunday. I don't really know why so don't ask."

     He laughed, causing me to smile. Something about the way he was talking was off. I didn't think to ask if anything was wrong because I was so worried about the Noah situation. My smile faded, "Wait—So am I still picking him up?"

      "Shelly, I would call him or my mom—I don't know anything," he told me. He sounded agitated. I was sure it was nothing, though. I decided to ignore it for the time being. I couldn't handle stressing over anything else.

      I was terrified at the thought of just texting or calling to Noah. What was I going to do when he was actually standing in front of me? I was trying to convince Lee that I wasn't about to have a panic attack, so I changed the subject.

      "So—Lee—I actually need a new outfit. Maybe a dress?" I paused, expected him to groan in agony. He hated going shopping with me. However, I just heard him sigh, "Do you...want to go to the mall."

      I could just predict what he was going to say: 'You're such a girl,' or 'Don't you have enough clothes already?'

       But instead he said, "Sure. I'll pick you up in thirty minutes. Be ready. I am not waiting four years for you to get dressed."

      Yep, something definitely was off. Lee would never just agree to going. He would try to convince me that I didn't need a new outfit. But he didn't put up a fight. He just agreed to it—not normal.

     We said our goodbyes and hung up. I was already ready for the day because I had gotten such an early start, so I jumped out of bed and went for my second cup of coffee.