endless goodbyes. (discontinued)

Chapter 5

Lee and I walked beside each other on the beach. We had talked about numerous things. What we would do when he left, how often we would talk. Unfortunately, neither of us had an exact game plan.

I told him about my call with Noah. Predictably, he told me I was pathetic for being so excited about it. But I didn't care. I was just happy Noah took notice of me for once.

Lee told me about Rachel. He said that they had talked about a few things, but made the breakup official. We didn't cry though, which is good. I didn't have enough energy for crying at that moment.

For a while, we stopped talking. We focused on the ocean. A view we wouldn't get to see as often once we both moved away. It was always so beautiful every time we walked next to it. It never changed.

I couldn't help but begin to think about Noah again. It might've been selfish since I was walking with my best friend who would be leaving for a long time. I should've been thinking about Lee, but I wasn't. I was still so nervous about Noah.

   I still didn't know what I would say when I saw him. I didn't know if I would even be able to control myself. I did not want to make out in public but I didn't know if I really had a choice in the matter.

   What would I wear? Something casual? Or sexy? But he probably would be angry if I showed off my body. It was so impossible with Noah being so protective.

   Interrupting my thoughts, Lee pushed on my shoulder, "Snap out of it. What are you dwelling on now?"

   I rolled my eyes, "Nothing."

   He raised his brow, trying to pry the truth out of me.

   "Fine. Noah. I'm freaking out about seeing him," I vomited out. He sighed.

   "Of course," he paused and looked down, "Look, Shelly, it's going to be okay. Trust me, he's freaking out as much as you are."

   Something lit up in me. My eyes widened with relief, "Really?!"

   He chuckled and nodded his head, "Yes. He's been texting me about it ever since he said he was going to be visiting."

   "No way," I shook my head, "Noah never gets nervous."

   "Believe what you want to, but I'm telling the truth," he shrugged.

   Maybe he was. But all I knew was that Noah has pretty much always been care free. Or at least, he made it seem like it. If he had any anxious bone in his body, he never would have gotten into so many fights and go into so much trouble.

   "But what could he possibly be freaking out about?" I asked Lee.

   "Are you kidding?" He asked. I shook my head. He had an expression of disbelief, "He asked me if you met anyone while he was gone. He asked me if you still loved him."

    Could Noah possibly be as anxious as I was? No—it couldn't be. He seemed so calm on our phone call while I was ripping out my hair and chewing my nails.

   "I wish you would've told me sooner," I smiled, "I've been beating myself up over this visit."

   "Why?" Lee furrowed his brows.

   "I know you don't like hearing about me and Noah's relationship," I paused and Lee nodded, "—but I was scared that maybe he met a girl or something at Harvard."

    Lee tilted his head, "Well..."

   I felt a lump in my throat, "Lee...?"

   "I shouldn't be the one to tell you," he frowned. I felt tears threatening to welt in my eyes. I hadn't noticed, but my jaw had dropped and I had stopped walking.

   I barely was able to make my words out, "L-Lee, now you h-have to tell me."

   I sniffled and wiped the tears that were making their way down my face.

  "Elle, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything," he tried to place his hand on my shoulder. I yanked it away and ran the other way down the beach, not knowing exactly where I was running to.

  I felt tears flying down my red-hot cheeks. Conveniently for the situation, it started to rain. My hair stuck to my damp neck and my clothes began to soak.

   After a while, my legs and feet started to hurt from continuously sinking into the sand as I ran. My face began to ache from crying and my makeup was smeared. I stopped running and glanced behind me. I had been running for a quite a while just by seeing how far I'd run.

   I completely lost sight of Lee. I wondered what happened with Noah and why Lee felt he should've even brought it up. Now I'd be overthinking and be even more worried for Sunday.

  Of course. I had two minutes of relief just to be freaking out again. Maybe that's why Noah was nervous. Because he cheated on me.

   I couldn't believe that Noah would cheat, though. He didn't seem dishonest or disloyal. He seemed like he actually loved me. But I guess I didn't really know.

   I could only hope it wasn't as bad as it felt in that moment. I just was starting to get impatient for Sunday.

***

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