DIARY OF A YOUTH

I MISS YOU.

It hurts, it hurts bad to know that you won't be there with me, you won't hug me,
It hurts to know, that you became my sweet happiness just in a short period of time,
I cannot believe and expected myself to be attached to someone this deep; Surprised that leaving someone could ever become a difficult task for me, Controlling myself so hard from giving in to my urges,
I'll miss your warmth, your warmth became peace in my chaotic life; It anger's me to know that you messed up my mind,
I'm trying to work but can't concentrate,
How i wish to cry, but the tears knows best to betray during difficult time.

I just arrived at the office, all the way from home to office i couldn't help but miss you,
Missing you makes me more sad than i already was before you, i really wish to cry,
You are always in my mind, you messed up the things i had control on.
My friends told me to let you go and move on, i can have better, i deserve better,
You know what's funny?;                            I know they are right but i don't want to let you go,
I don't want better, i want you because i love you, because i only feel for you,
Because my heart skips a beat only for you but i should let you go for my betterment.

I know you won't come back and it hurts to face the bitter truth,              The more i'm fighting my urges, the more it's getting stronger.                        I do wish to tell you how much i miss you,
I wish to pour out all my feelings for you,
I wish to be with you again, want to be in your arms,                                      I need your warmth, Your hugs which gives me peace, I want to hear your sweet words which makes me blush.

You became my sweet bliss, my genuine laugh behind my fake smile,
My reason to see hope, you became my shoulder,
you became the truth of my fake life,
You became waves of my ocean, You became peace of my chaotic life.

My father thought me love is not a reason to tolerate disrespect, and i'm fighting a fight;
A difficult fight, a fight between not letting my pride being hurt, to maintain my self-respect,
And letting my pride go, let you and me value myself less by approaching you.

I tried talking to you, overlooked your mistakes, allowed you to let go with cheating,
Apologised for the mistake i didn't do so we won't fight and have a peaceful night,
You didn't even bother to know how am i after i decided to leave you and now i know,
You never liked me but then why did you ever approach me?
It hurts to know that i meant so little to you and you meant so much to me, Was i this bad or you were just playing around?
Whatever it is, i don't want to know, just want to say thank you, i had good time with you, i laughed and smiled and felt peace after a long run of restless and sadness.

I don't regret you, thank you for letting me know that i deserve better,   It's time to say goodbye now, you were like a mini vacation of a busy schedule life,           Now I gotta go back and run solo on the road full of thorns, after all the vacation is over. I'll miss you.